Discussion in 'Submariners' started by witsend, Oct 23, 2007.
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No,had an Air Vice Commadore onboard once for his birthday treat and he wanted to know why everyone was in rig.When told it was for him he asked the skipper to put everyone back in pirate rig as he had come dressed the same,old clothes etc.
Up at 5 to scrub out for a group of MPs who finally turned up at 1000 after their breakfast, never recognised any of them, and found them a very disappointing bunch.
Best bloke was AOC Gib, who loved angles and dangles, and asked for more !!
The old RASM "CHUCKLES" was always a good day zero guest. Very nice bloke who was happy to chat to the lads as long as he got his babys heads. He also gave a shit and didnt insist on air and bloody graces.
Back in the 70s The Queen paid a visit to Faslane; as was normal about 37 rehearsals were carried out in preparation for the big day. Various Naval personnel represented the VIPs with suitable cardboard signs hung round their neck so that every one knew who they were.
One poor lad was labelled "Mr Frank Judd" - nobody knew who the hell this character was ! It eventually transpired that he was the deputy to the under-assistant, twice removed, without portfolio to the most junior minister in the MoD. His job was to buy the Navy News every month for the minister.
For years after that any nonentity arriving at Faslane was always referred to as a "Frank Judd". I suppose that was one way to get known !
Of all the VIP's to get stitched up with on return from sea the worst was some chinless wonder from Westminster -The Permanent Under Secretary of State for Defence. The man was supposed to know his stuff but did he bollocks.
The CO made it known that he thought his visit was a waste of time and not to tell him anything. We all thought he'd come onboard to get a hot debrief and were prepared to not tell him anything. Of all the stupid questions to ask........how was the food this trip and you must all be very tired...are you?
I made it plain to my DO that I thought it odd that we were tugging forelocks to somebody who was a servant of the people. My DO made it plain that I was to keep my big gob shut.
When any questions was announced there came from the back of the mess a very clear voice.....'Yeah...when are they going to pipe leave'.
Remember having to stay out after a bomber patrol so they could photograph three bombers together - could have done it alongside for all the crew cared but the powers that be !!!!!!!!
Ain't that how it always is though Eh, snotters sucking up, the best time was when we had the Minister of Defense come down and go out for a day, he was ex military and we no sooner exited the harbour and he was in the afterends quaffing back on the ales, by the time we made it back he was loaded (Barney Danson) what a hoot, good chap, really appreciated those in uniform...which is a rarity now a day's... :thumright: :hockey:
I liked that one, It was Resolution, Repulse and Revenge. We (Renown) got some phots sent to us when we got back so we doctored them a bit and put a periscope in the middle to pretend we were there too. Has anyone got a copy of that famous pic? :thumright:
Had Sir Jackie Stewart onboard for a couple of nights, really interseting bloke, Raffled of some tickets for the british grand Prix....Didnt win one though.
We were out on INDEX on a V boat and we had a visit from John Reid who was armed forces minister at the time. He came down the boat with the BBC in tail, had a tour of all the interesting compartments and then headed to the SR's Mess for a Q&A session with the ships company. After being told that all was fine & dandy on board by the hierarchy, he was slightly perturbed by the absolute mauling he got from the crew. The tosser wouldn't give a straight answer to any question he was asked, it seemed the words "Yes" & "No" are missing from a politicians vocabulary! Anyway, after half an hour of this the CO had to intervene, he ended the meeting and stopped the BBC from filming any further. John Reid then scurried off with his tail between his legs onto the pas boat. I do believe he was a bit pissed off!!!! :w00t:
I would have thought that by now they would have learnt that letting loose military personel on polititians is dangerous.
Similar to Tritech I remeber the then Minfor Defence having to be spirited out of the Gunroom at Dartmouth after joining in at a Subs mess dinner just after it had been announced that our year would not have any fixed wing pilots. About 20 rather pissed of Sub Lts cornered the minister in the bar after dinner and the Commander left him for about 30 mins before rescuing him and taking him away to the sanctuary of the wardroom.
It might have been that same patrol, or the one before it, when the Doc, Steve Ryder, prepared a slide show for the VIP where the final slide was a hastily taken and processed, "Polaroid style" instant slide photograph of the VIPs arriving. The only comment he got was "How much did that cost?". In fact it was made from his own slide kit and not pussers, so it cost Her Madge nothing except his time and she was paying for that anyway; but what a miserable cnut!
Editted to include missing quotation.
We had the late Tommy Cooper on board VALIANT in 76 whilst in Gib. He arrived at 1100 totally off his skull, had one whet and was sparko by 1110. His missus did nothing but slag him off for the hour she stayed pouring it down her skull, much to the embarrasment of all, especially the daughter, who had the grace to apologise for her mother, but not her dad. "Oh, he's always like this on holiday".
In Pearl Harbour in 1980 we got the the word in Otama that the Prime Minister was on his way home from some wankfest in Washington and was going to drop in on us the next day - bloody Sunday of course - therefore all the troops were to be on board at 0900 scrubbed and polished ready for the big man. Unfortunately we had just recieved word that a reccommended increse in Submarine Service Allowance had been knocked back by the DoD. This coupled with the Sunday recall put the troops in a rather foul mood, but this was also seen a heaven sent opportunity to take our complaint straight to the top.
The day dawned and we were ready for the visit, all looking smart as guardsmen in our No. 10s, with the more obvious drunks and shitbags hidden safely out of sight. After touring the boat the PM was asked into the Senior Rates mess for a brew and there the situation was laid out for him. After hearing what they had to say the PM then spoke to the CO and asked the all the troops be mustered so he could talk to them. We duly fell in on the wharf, but the PM had us fall out and gather round. He said he had heard our complaint, that this was the first he had heard of the business and he would sort it out immediately on returning home. To his credit, the allowance increase was approved fo the next pay day.
Of course the media circus travelling with him heard all this, but we had no idea the effect this would have back home. It made the front pages of all the papers, with one memorable headline being 'MUTINY ON THE OTAMA'.
To my knowlege, no Prime Minister has ever visited a submarine since!
Blackpool circa mid 50s anchored out in the bay, fanny boats galore , height of the holiday season , HMS/M Alderney I believe but definitely an A boat . Anyway , by popular demand , a real VIP , Sir Stanley Mathews himself . He was on the ball , top bloke.
Above the waves, many more VIP visits. 1st commission of HMS London 1963-5:
Duke of Edinburgh (twice), Duchess of Gloucester (who had launched the ship), King & Queen of Thailand, President of Peru, a Treasury minister who wanted to see whether it was worth paying for 4 more GMDs (Glamorgan et al), Defence Correspondent of The Times, Richard Baker to do some BBC filming in the gun bay because in the previous effort on another ship they had left the lens cap on, Cilla Black with her original nose, numerous admirals from Varyl Begg on down to a minute Surgeon Rear-Admiral(D) and the Commodore Supt Contract Built Ships (who got stuck up the inside of the foremast), Miss Texas Universe, and a rat which after being chased around by the QM with a hammer was finally clobbered with a hockey stick by the Toothy.
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