XXXXXXXXXXX I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed. She was known as oral high Jean. xxxxxxxxxx Just had a parcel from Holland, when I opened it, it was a rubber fanny. That's nice I thought, 'two lips from Amsterdam' ! xxxxxxxxxx My dad worked on the roadwork’s for twenty years before he got fired for stealing. At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there. xxxxxxxxxx A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer. I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick. xxxxxxxxxx My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all ! xxxxxxxxxx A woman is walking down the street and see's a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25" curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour !" xxxxxxxxxx I was on a train this morning, in the loo, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please ?" "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit." "I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door." "No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn !" xxxxxxxxxx My son asked me today "What's the difference between a crow and a blackbird ?" I told him, "Crows have somewhat heavier beaks, fan shaped tails and live on insects. A blackbird has big rubbery lips, a fat arse and lives on benefits." xxxxxxxxxx Everyone's a comedian nowadays.Even the paramedic who was unable to resuscitate Whitney couldn't avoid a gag ! When he radioed dispatch he said..... "It's Houston, we have a problem !"