Valentines Thoughts

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Stand_Still, Feb 6, 2009.

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  1. Valentines Thoughts

    These are entries to a Washington Post competition
    asking for a rhyme
    with the most romantic first line but the least
    romantic second line.

    Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
    But I slept with you because I was pissed.

    I thought that I could love no other
    Until, that is, I met your brother.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and
    so are you.
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
    the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

    Kind, intelligent, loving, and hot.
    This describes everything you're not.

    I want to feel your sweet embrace
    But don't take that bag from off your face.

    I love your smile, your face, your eyes.
    Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

    My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
    Marrying you screwed up my life.

    I see your face when I am dreaming.
    That's why I always wake up screaming.

    My love , you take my breath away.
    What have you stepped in to smell this way?

    What inspired this amorous rhyme?

    Two parts vodka, one part lime.
  2. You look like a million dollars.
    But your t!"ts like 2 horses collars.
  3. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I'm schizophrenic
    And so am I
  4. Roses are Red
    Lettuce is Green
    Who put the cheese
    In the washing machine?
  5. This is great, I'm going to kiss her.
    Then I thought I'd rather her sister.
  6. Violets are blue
    Roses are red
    so she's fcuking ugly
    but she gives good head
  7. Roses are reddish
    Violets are bluish
    If it wasn't for Christmas
    We'd all be Jewish
  8. Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I'm using my hand,
    But I'm thinking of you.
  9. Lovely body, fantastic taste.
    This glass of wine is really ace.
  10. I see it now
    she loves another
    for my revenge
    I'll shaft her brother
  11. my Internet Valentine; you beggar belief
    17 stone, and bald with no teef!
  12. :evil: Valentines Day - a late response. :evil:

    "My love for you grows stronger"
    "With every passing day"
    "As I re-grout all the bathroom tiles"
    "Just to while the time away"

    "My darling - I truly love you"
    "Until I die - I'm yours"
    "I think how much I love you"
    "As I gloss the bedroom doors"

    "So be my Valentine tonight"
    "And you answer - lets get crackin'"
    "But love is cancelled I'm afraid"
    "'Cos I've done me f***ing back in"

    With Love from Mister Fluffy-Bunny-kins

    To my provider of the endless "List of things to do"
  13. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Fcuking valentines day, What is it with little miss Blobbs?

    For the 3rd time on a valentines day she ends up in A&E, breaks her arm this time.....And there was only male nurses on duty.......barhumbug. :evil:
  14. From my cat Vincenzo to his unrequited love Izzy - posted in his facebook group

    Brown and black are the birds
    Mice have feet of grey
    If you will be my valentine
    I will bring you lots of prey!
  15. Your eyes are like peaches
    Football peaches

    Your teeth are like the stars
    They come out at night.

    Your eyes are like pools
    Cess Pools
  16. Roses are red,
    Violets are Blue,
    Most Poems Rhyme,
    This One Doesn't.
  17. I'm so sorry he didn't get my reply! 8O

    Vincenzo's fur like finest spun silk
    Sleekly he glides from tree to bird
    As silent as a Hunter Killer Submarine
    And as lethal; his game taste as no other.

    "Izzy" aka Thingy :wink:

    PS: Did he receive the side of poached wild salmon I ordered for him from Fortnums?
  18. Thingy, you are so not Izzy!

    Izzy is small and delicate, she has grey and white fur in vast abundances. She is a cat.

    In fact, she is everything that you are not!

    However the PO Stoker said the salmon was lovely thank you and why have you transferred your allegences from him to my cat? Tart!
  19. Grey and White, now that sounds just like me. I'm as skinny as Nutty! o_O

    Glad Vincenzo (aka the PO Stoker) enjoyed his snack and look forward to him being posted here for his Easter vacation in his o so gay pink fluffy slippers. :razz:

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