Valentine's Day

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by sgtpepperband, Feb 11, 2008.

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  1. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    "Money's short and times are hard
    So here's your feckin' Valentine's card..." :twisted: :lol:

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Just need some pikey chocolates from Aldi's and on to a winner
     

  3. Is it free?? :bball:
     
  4. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Twenty for the price of one... :wink:
     
  5. Excellent!
     
  6. Or if you have 30 Clubcard points!
     
  7. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

    Secretly . . . guys feel left out. That's right . . . left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. This is why a new holiday has been created.

    March 20th is now officially 'Steak, Blow Job & Shut the Feck Up Day.' Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him.

    No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak, a BJ and shut your mouth for the rest of the day! That's it!

    This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak, Blow job & Shut the Feck Up Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine.

    The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling.

    So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.

    :oops: :wink:
     
  8. Bugger! I'll be at sea then, and steak night isn't on the 20th. (No matter really, as we'd never get the cookie boys or the stewards to shut the fcuk up anyway!)
     
  9. That's the only part of the proposal that worries me. I assume that may be after it's been severed.
     
  10. Do they deliver?
     
  11. Haha
    I actulay want that card! :D
     
  12. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I believe they do. In fact, I understand that Tesco sell a variety of fresh and frozen meats and meat-based products...

    :lol: :wink: :thumright:
     
  13. I made friends with a drunk German chick who was enganged to a lovely English bloke the other weekend. She proceeded to inform us that she does nothing in the way of housework or cooking and makes up for this by way of giving him loads of great sex and blow jobs.

    SO!!! If you had to choose between a woman who is fantastic in the bedroom but really lazy around the house, or one who is pretty average in bed but a domestic goddess which would you go for? OR is that the dumbest question ever??? :slow:

    Edited to add I'm really crap at cooking :roll:
     
  14. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I love cooking but am shite at sucking golfballs through hosepipes (and spelling).

    I'd say the domestic goddess because it's more fun teaching someone a good sex life, which is a subject that would appeal, rather than the other way round....

    What better to hear on a sunday morning.....about 11 ish......."I've hoovered.... Your puke/kebab/lager stained cloths are washed and hanging out to dry, I've scrubbed the kitchen floor... are you going to drink that mug of tea I've put next to the bed before or after I suck you dry?"

    Women, gotta love 'em.
     
  15. I will be quite happy with Shut the Feck Up Day

    Can we not push for this a weekly event I know daily is a pipe dream!!
     
  16. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You've just answered every matelot's question... 8O :twisted:
     
  17. But having both wasn't an option sorry Blobbs! You may be able to teach her a few things but who's to say it wouldn't sound more like this:

    I've hoovered.... Your puke/kebab/lager stained cloths are washed and hanging out to dry, I've scrubbed the kitchen floor... are you going to drink that mug of tea I've put next to the bed before I take that panadol for my headache.......... :eek:mg:
     

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