Valentines Day - and beyond!

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Somewhat similar to "Last post wins" - just
place your message of love for anyone on
two legs, (and most things on four) in here.


"Roses are Red"
"Violets are Blue"
"I'm a train driver"
"So choo-choo-choo-choo"





Next!
 

Haggis_Catcher

War Hero
Roses are straight,
Violets are twisted,
Bend over love,
You're about to get f*sted.

Roses make me laugh,
Violets make me titter,
You're a dirty b*tch,
And you love it up the sh*tter.

two i was sent today by a oppo.
 
One for the lady's

You stood there in our bedroom, love bursting from your heart.'Whats that smell? I asked you.' Its me and thats my fart.'

I did not want a smelly man,one with saggy balls.
I want a fit Adonis type who's todger wacks the walls.

But for now you're all I have my love.
Your breath,your farts and arse.
Ill take the rose you gave me and place it in a glass.

You're quite a dirty bastard,you never wash your bits,
You're always groping lady lumps and staring at girls tits.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
"You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big round fat ass."
 

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
as written by bitter and twisted ex
Roses are red
violets are blue
I am going bankrupt you

She didn't ha :D :)
 
My ex wife said one Valentines Day smother me in diamonds. I couldnt afford the diamonds so I just settled on smothering her but the bitch fought back just no sense of humour that one
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Jenny_Dabber said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get on your knees
And suck my foo foo

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I'll suck fuck all of yours
It smells of stale shit.

Yes shit doesn't rhyme,
Stop going frantic,
It was just an excuse as your twat is gigantic,
I'd rather not stick my poor nose by your fanny,
It gives off an odour of stale fish, mixed with granny.

And always remember,
When out on a binge,
The smell of your dinner,
Comes out of your minge,

It's a bit of a pisser,
But Foo Foo wont cover,
The stink of a snatch block
That's been creamed by a lover.
 
Rumrat said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get on your knees
And suck my foo foo

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I'll suck fuck all of yours
It smells of stale shit.

Yes shit doesn't rhyme,
Stop going frantic,
It was just an excuse as your twat is gigantic,
I'd rather not stick my poor nose by your fanny,
It gives off an odour of stale fish, mixed with granny.

And always remember,
When out on a binge,
The smell of your dinner,
Comes out of your minge,

It's a bit of a pisser,
But Foo Foo wont cover,
The stink of a snatch block
That's been creamed by a lover.
:lol: Classic!

Oust the b*tch!
 
Bumped (As our Billy Wandernuts was the OP - Other Vals Day threads are available).

Try improving this gem from a senior Westminster Comedienne.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-politics-47237636/brexit-andrea-leadsom-reads-valentine-s-ode-to-deal

Starters for Ten

Labour is red
Tories are blue
Sort BrexiSh1t 2-6
Or we'll be coming for you -

:mad:Yes YOU - You dithering, fillibustering, indecisive shower of complete no-hoping DELETED BY MODERATORS

;)
Would that deleted word be another word for a collective of ladys front bottoms?
 
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