Unwanted phone calls

#1
Had one of those'Can I speak to Mr .................. 'last night
Told the forgeign gentleman on the end of the phone I was'nt in.

Persistant bugger asked if I was a family member or part of the household.

I told him'No mate,Im just a burglar' then hung up.

Wonder if he'll call back? . :lol:
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#2
Nice one Rod. When i get calls like that, i inform them that i have tourettes. After 30 seconds of them trying to speak with me saying things like " How awfully interesting CUNT FACE can you explain to me SHIT SCOFFING TWAT how that works WANKER as i would FUCK YOUR MUM be interested" they usually just hang up. It works, especially if before the swearing you stutter a bit and go "Mmmmmm".
 

morsehorse

Lantern Swinger
#4
When I get one of those phone calls and they ask for Mr L*** I tell them that he is dead.True of course they don't hang around for long.
One that I received was from a funeral plan asking me if I and Mr L*** wanted to join Told em it was a bit late as he had been dead for 5 years.
The other thing I do is just put the phone on the coffee table,after all it is them phoning me and it costs em a bloody fortune!!
 
#5
A mate of mine got a call from a conseratory company, after 10 mins of hard sell he asked how tall they make them. "We make them to measure", brilliant he said come a give me a quote.

Imagine the supprise when knocking on the door of a 3rd story flat.
 
#7
I usually get really involved in a conversation, then try converting them to scientology, jehovas witnesses, or some kind of death cult.

Or sometimes I make up a load of problems, offload onto them and treat them as my own Samaritans.

It's fun to do since I'm a sad git, it wastes their time and they're paying.
 
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