unlucky to my mate haha

chrisj09

Lantern Swinger
#1
right other night my mate was shaggin his missus when all of a sudden " ahhhhh oh shit", my mate comes out screaming and dripping with blood, hes only gone and split his fooking banjo string . he must of done something wrong either that or she was a tight as a ducks arse but all in all this a bizare accident.

anyone know any other bizare accidents that can/have happend during?
 
#2
chrisj09 said:
right other night my mate was shaggin his missus when all of a sudden " ahhhhh oh shit", my mate comes out screaming and dripping with blood, hes only gone and split his fooking banjo string . he must of done something wrong either that or she was a tight as a ducks arse but all in all this a bizare accident.

anyone know any other bizare accidents that can/have happend during?
I de-banjo'd myself a good few years back, it didn't hurt that much but the blood creates mass panic.

I also have a small scar on my (Small) bellend where a chick with very long nails slid her hand into my pants and stabbed me in the helmet.

Fcukers, they try and wreck your chap under the ruse of fornication!
 
#5
chrisj09 said:
the feckers do anything to see us clench or crown jules in pain these days?

but seriously how can u de banjo yourslef?
I didn't do it MYSELF I was pummelling an ex doris (Incidentally, listening to the radio reporting Princess Di had been in a crash).

Must have been that bit of Radio good news that made me go for it too vigourously and snap the chap.
 

chrisj09

Lantern Swinger
#6
after i finished school we celebrated by having a huge party in a field , i was busy with this girl down by the bushes her hands down my trousers next minut a flash light shines on us she shat bricks and ran for it with her hand still down there the cnut almost ripped my purple helmet off
 
#9
Wasn't shagging but in the days of ovies with zips I was having a dump during a work up when the general alarm went, zipped me ovies up in a hurry and got the tip of my bell end caught in it.....Fcuk that hurt :oops:
 

chrisj09

Lantern Swinger
#10
WreckerL said:
Wasn't shagging but in the days of ovies with zips I was having a dump during a work up when the general alarm went, zipped me ovies up in a hurry and got the tip of my bell end caught in it.....Fcuk that hurt :oops:
shit! i thought pubes geting stuck were bad enough
 
#11
chrisj09 said:
NorwayChris said:
This ferkin slag whore in Mombas blew instead of sucking,jepp it hurt,dirty ferkin slut bitch, 8)
lmfao apprently that can paralize you or some shit like that
I remember it just hurt a little,as did my ferkin fist on the side of the bitches head, :lol:

ps and i didnt pay her :D
 

chrisj09

Lantern Swinger
#12
NorwayChris said:
chrisj09 said:
NorwayChris said:
This ferkin slag whore in Mombas blew instead of sucking,jepp it hurt,dirty ferkin slut bitch, 8)
lmfao apprently that can paralize you or some shit like that
I remember it just hurt a little,as did my ferkin fist on the side of the bitches head, :lol:

ps and i didnt pay her :D
naughty you. bet she was shemale? :twisted:
 
#13
chrisj09 said:
NorwayChris said:
chrisj09 said:
NorwayChris said:
This ferkin slag whore in Mombas blew instead of sucking,jepp it hurt,dirty ferkin slut bitch, 8)
lmfao apprently that can paralize you or some shit like that
I remember it just hurt a little,as did my ferkin fist on the side of the bitches head, :lol:

ps and i didnt pay her :D
naughty you. bet she was shemale? :twisted:
Well i was wrecked on tiger and tuska beer so its possible :lol:
 
#15
chrisj09 said:
ah could of been tims mum then :D
I remember in the 70`s there was a pole dancer in a night club in Mombas from Birmingham ( UK ),her name was Rita,last time i saw somthing resembling rita it had a ferkin harpoon in it, 8)
 

Andrew_1980

Lantern Swinger
#16
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
I also have a small scar on my (Small) bellend where a chick with very long nails slid her hand into my pants and stabbed me in the helmet.
Crikey, I hope you kicked her in the tits. :whax:
 

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