unlucky to my mate haha

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by chrisj09, Aug 3, 2009.

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  1. right other night my mate was shaggin his missus when all of a sudden " ahhhhh oh shit", my mate comes out screaming and dripping with blood, hes only gone and split his fooking banjo string . he must of done something wrong either that or she was a tight as a ducks arse but all in all this a bizare accident.

    anyone know any other bizare accidents that can/have happend during?
  2. I de-banjo'd myself a good few years back, it didn't hurt that much but the blood creates mass panic.

    I also have a small scar on my (Small) bellend where a chick with very long nails slid her hand into my pants and stabbed me in the helmet.

    Fcukers, they try and wreck your chap under the ruse of fornication!
  3. the feckers do anything to see us clench or crown jules in pain these days?

    but seriously how can u de banjo yourslef?
  4. My ex was trying to pull my boxers down with her foot and kneed me in the bollocks whilst doing so.
  5. I didn't do it MYSELF I was pummelling an ex doris (Incidentally, listening to the radio reporting Princess Di had been in a crash).

    Must have been that bit of Radio good news that made me go for it too vigourously and snap the chap.
  6. after i finished school we celebrated by having a huge party in a field , i was busy with this girl down by the bushes her hands down my trousers next minut a flash light shines on us she shat bricks and ran for it with her hand still down there the cnut almost ripped my purple helmet off
  7. This ferkin slag whore in Mombas blew instead of sucking,jepp it hurt,dirty ferkin slut bitch, 8)
  8. lmfao apprently that can paralize you or some shit like that
  9. Wasn't shagging but in the days of ovies with zips I was having a dump during a work up when the general alarm went, zipped me ovies up in a hurry and got the tip of my bell end caught in it.....Fcuk that hurt :oops:
  10. shit! i thought pubes geting stuck were bad enough
  11. I remember it just hurt a little,as did my ferkin fist on the side of the bitches head, :lol:

    ps and i didnt pay her :D
  12. naughty you. bet she was shemale? :twisted:
  13. Well i was wrecked on tiger and tuska beer so its possible :lol:
  14. ah could of been tims mum then :D
  15. I remember in the 70`s there was a pole dancer in a night club in Mombas from Birmingham ( UK ),her name was Rita,last time i saw somthing resembling rita it had a ferkin harpoon in it, 8)
  16. Crikey, I hope you kicked her in the tits. :whax:

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