Unfunny 'Jokes' (??)

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by taffscrivs, Aug 7, 2013.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Police were called to a pub after a man was assaulted in the bogs. A plod asks the victim for details of the assault, The man says, " I was in the bog taking a leak and this bloke came in, punched me to the floor and kicked me in the testicles and the arse". "Rectum". says the copper. "No, I don't think so", says the man, "but they're fucking sore"!
  2. A man got caught stealing viagra. Police say he is 'a hardened criminal'

  3. A bloke came home from work early and found his wife in bed with her lover. "What's going on?" he says. Wifey turns to her lover and says, "What did I tell you, thick as shit!"
  4. True dit but could be joke, bloke I knew was looking for summat and looks in wifes knicker drawer, and finds a letter from the bank about the £2k she owes, which he knows nowt about, he confronts her and says, I think you have something to tell me dont you, yes she says breaking down in tears, I,m having an affair
  5. AAF

    AAF Badgeman

    What do you give a man who has everything ?, penicillin.
  6. Came home yesterday and found the wife in bed with my best friend. I didn't hesitate.

    I packed her kit up and made her sling her hook.

    And after I said "bad boy", I'm making the dog spend the week in the outside kennel before he gets back in.
  7. What do you call a gay dinosaur? Tyrannosorearse Rex.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. What do u call a lesbian dinosaur? ?

  9. Haha i so hope that is true!

    2 pieces of tarmac walk into a bar, the tarmac from the pavement says to the barman 'don't serve him he is a cyclepath'
  10. Two pieces of vomit walking down the street.......one of them breaks down and cries...other one says.... whats up with you...sorry he says...but I was brought up around here.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Are all of these better than the original joke?
  12. I didn't understand the original joke ahha,
  13. Two tampons walking along the road not talking to each other.

    They're both stuck up cunts.

    Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
  14. At the risk of this being a wah/Wheeeeeeyyyyyy/whatever, try saying "Rectum" out loud. What two words does it sound like?
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Instead of shouting Rectum! in an office try shouting ARSEHOLE!. Much more effective, especially when you count up the ones who spin round in their chairs in answer to your call!
  16. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Why not just shout "You're all a bunch of cunts" and punch the person nearest to you repeatedly in the face and shit in the bin. Always a hoot that one.
    • Like Like x 2
  17. Not a wah, i didnt know what it was but hah 'wrecked'em'! Will try this one tomorrow in the tea room at work, my colleagues love my awkward tea break chatter.
  18. What do you call a man with a hotel on his head? .........Norman Tebbit.
  19. This bloke walks into a pub, and his head is covered in dog-poo.
    "Pint of Stella please", he says.
    "Sorry - but you'll have to leave, i'm not serving you", says the Landlord.
    "Oh - why's that?", says the bloke.
    "Because you're shit-faced already".

    * * * * * *
  20. Bloke walked in a pub with a car battery under his arm. Landlord says, "Don't you start anything in here!".

Share This Page