Police were called to a pub after a man was assaulted in the bogs. A plod asks the victim for details of the assault, The man says, " I was in the bog taking a leak and this bloke came in, punched me to the floor and kicked me in the testicles and the arse". "Rectum". says the copper. "No, I don't think so", says the man, "but they're ******* sore"!