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Two things for you snaggy buggers...

chatsharris

Lantern Swinger
Team,

I've got a couple of issues, I'd like your opinions on them and what should I do?

1) I've split up with the girlfriend, and have since found a new one. Smiles all round, she's awesome etc etc. However, my ex keeps on hacking on to my facebook/msn and generally f*cking sh*t up! I've changed all my emails/passwords etc but she got on again yesterday.

2) I've got what looks like a spot on my bellend. I'm going to see sickbay tomorrow to get the 'Congratulations, you have cock rot' speech, however I will undoubtedly have to explain this to new girlfriend.

Any suggestions? She's on her way over and I'm gonna do it all wrong!! :lol:
 

Rumrat

War Hero
chatsharris said:
Team,

I've got a couple of issues, I'd like your opinions on them and what should I do?

1) I've split up with the girlfriend, and have since found a new one. Smiles all round, she's awesome etc etc. However, my ex keeps on hacking on to my facebook/msn and generally f*cking sh*t up! I've changed all my emails/passwords etc but she got on again yesterday.

2) I've got what looks like a spot on my bellend. I'm going to see sickbay tomorrow to get the 'Congratulations, you have cock rot' speech, however I will undoubtedly have to explain this to new girlfriend.

Any suggestions? She's on her way over and I'm gonna do it all wrong!! :lol:

Fuckin hell Chats if she can crack and hack facebook get her over here I've a couple of bank accounts I need "adjusting" :roll:

The spot on your nob, I would need to see. I ain't had a good laugh for ages. 8O :lol:

If either of these answers helped in any way it was purely by chance as I'm as thick as a drug barons wallet.

Ps post a pic of your nob, I'm a doctor. :roll:
 

chatsharris

Lantern Swinger
Rumrat said:
Fuckin hell Chats if she can crack and hack facebook get her over here I've a couple of bank accounts I need "adjusting" :roll:

The spot on your nob, I would need to see. I ain't had a good laugh for ages. 8O :lol:

If either of these answers helped in any way it was purely by chance as I'm as thick as a drug barons wallet.

Ps post a pic of your nob, I'm a doctor. :roll:

If only, I think she just knew my secret questions for my email and FB. She has a thing for Chocolate love though so maybe you'd be interested? :p

I'll have to take a picture of it then! If my flatmate saw that there'd be no explaining that shit away! "Um, I'm taking it for... a friend... on the internet' 8O

Well, if you could issue us a Sick on Shore chit I'd be very grateful :wink: :lol:
 

pugfrom83

Lantern Swinger
Tell the girls that you need to all sit down together to get things sorted. Somewhere quiet, out of the way and neutral territory. You then take them to Jo Jo's basement.

Hey presto, you then have both of them to do with as you wish (as long as Jo Jo gets his alloted time).

And the spot on the end of your knob will be the least of your new girls worries.

Sorted !!
 

blondiie

Banned
Surley your new girlfriend will understand you shagged around before her? So no need to explain, just apologise for giving her pussy rot.

The ex kinda needs to get a grip.
 

danny

War Hero
blondiie said:
Surley your new girlfriend will understand you shagged around before her? So no need to explain, just apologise for giving her pussy rot.

The ex kinda needs to get a grip.

Yeah the im sorry ive just given you aids convo is that easy. Im sorry i was bagging off diseased whores but it was before i shagged you so its ok.
 

w.anchor

War Hero
chatsharris said:
Rumrat said:
Fuckin hell Chats if she can crack and hack facebook get her over here I've a couple of bank accounts I need "adjusting" :roll:

The spot on your nob, I would need to see. I ain't had a good laugh for ages. 8O :lol:

If either of these answers helped in any way it was purely by chance as I'm as thick as a drug barons wallet.

Ps post a pic of your nob, I'm a doctor. :roll:

If only, I think she just knew my secret questions for my email and FB. She has a thing for Chocolate love though so maybe you'd be interested? :p

I'll have to take a picture of it then! If my flatmate saw that there'd be no explaining that shit away! "Um, I'm taking it for... a friend... on the internet' 8O

Well, if you could issue us a Sick on Shore chit I'd be very grateful :wink: :lol:
It sounds to me like you've been back skuttleing her up the duck run,if that's the case and your not a Hebrew brother say your banjo string snaped the last time you was banging her back doors in.
I hope this may be of help :oops: Try taking yourself in hand for a few days,I do and it dose me the world of good :roll:
 

EasilyDistracted

Lantern Swinger
Invite her round and have it hanging out when she arrives and ask her if she 'notices anything different' or spray it silver and pretend it's a piercing
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
1. Where the fuck have you been?
2. Blame the spot on your new girlfriend and deny her anal for a month
3. Let Jonno or Monty loose on your ex
4. Hit the next person you walk past
 

chatsharris

Lantern Swinger
1) Been really hectic with life. Became a two wheeled organ donor and just laid low for a bit.
2) She blamed herself. I didn't even have to hit her much! :D
3) That's a tempting solution, make her squeal like a stuck pig getting raped with barbed wire! (That's my typical JJ experience...)
4) Done. My table is next Tuesday.
 

Troglodyte

Lantern Swinger
chatsharris said:
Team,

I've got a couple of issues, I'd like your opinions on them and what should I do?

1) I've split up with the girlfriend, and have since found a new one. Smiles all round, she's awesome etc etc. However, my ex keeps on hacking on to my facebook/msn and generally f*cking sh*t up! I've changed all my emails/passwords etc but she got on again yesterday.

2) I've got what looks like a spot on my bellend. I'm going to see sickbay tomorrow to get the 'Congratulations, you have cock rot' speech, however I will undoubtedly have to explain this to new girlfriend.

Any suggestions? She's on her way over and I'm gonna do it all wrong!! :lol:

Hmm! sounds like Herpes Simplex 12, can I come round and watch you rot?
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Troglodyte said:
chatsharris said:
Team,

I've got a couple of issues, I'd like your opinions on them and what should I do?

1) I've split up with the girlfriend, and have since found a new one. Smiles all round, she's awesome etc etc. However, my ex keeps on hacking on to my facebook/msn and generally f*cking sh*t up! I've changed all my emails/passwords etc but she got on again yesterday.

2) I've got what looks like a spot on my bellend. I'm going to see sickbay tomorrow to get the 'Congratulations, you have cock rot' speech, however I will undoubtedly have to explain this to new girlfriend.

Any suggestions? She's on her way over and I'm gonna do it all wrong!! :lol:

Hmm! sounds like Herpes Simplex 12, can I come round and watch you rot?



What nob rot? Sounds great, try and see if you can transplant it into her mouth, and if her tounge drops off she wont be able to nag you for the Cunt canker you gave her. There's always a silver lining Chats. :D
 
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