TV needs another Quiz Show

Sat here watching utter bollocks on Sky1 HD. Some quiz show that looks like it got its conrtestants out of an open prison. What telly requires is a new format...a new and unique way for Joe Bloggs to win shit-loads of money. Start thinking. Give it a name. Describe how it'll go and perhaps we can flog some ideas to TV stations and see some real light entertainment.....................


Lantern Swinger
Convicted murderers are put in a blacked out room, contestants then answer trivia questions to win a chance of a prize. The winning contestant then plays a kind of deal or no deal where they via with a hidden "Armourer" for the chance to use an implement of torture, your probably getting the idea now!
How they win money is, they are let loose on the con and get money for cut or hitting them in various parts of the body, if they kill them on first hit, they win £250,000.
Light hearted family entertainment and we drive down the prison population and save tax payers money. Simple!!!!!!!!


Lantern Swinger
Not exactly a quiz show, but how about a revamp of an old favourite tv competition.

I'm a bit short on detail, but others may beef up the idea.

Cum Dancing ( with real cum ).
Some people who live in the same house are found, the two adults are 20st plus, on benefit , 60 a day smokers and alcohol dependent, their tribe of multi coloured kids have convictions for at least one of the following, drug dealing, theft, assault, prostitution, and any you care to add, they have the combined IQ of the average hat size, call them the Boils, a prominent do gooder is found who thinks families like this have been let down by society and need help and encouragement to become good citizens, call him/her Arse, the Boils are moved in next door to Arse and are told there is £50,000 in the Bank for them when Arse puts his/her house up for sale, £2,000 will be deducted each week Arse remains their neighbour.
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*It's a Knockout* (2012)

Not quite like the old version with Stuart Hall and Eddie Waring though. 20 contestants are herded into a disused aircraft hangar and given some knuckle-dusters. Aim of the competition is to smash each other to a pulp. Last man/woman standing wins a £5000 voucher to spend at any branch of Ikea.
Presented by Des Lyneham.

Let's get back to basics.
As my previous but with asylum seekers, get head of some organisation that wants to allow the entire world to come and live here, buy 5 houses each side and 10 across the road then the same rules.This format can be used for any of the“it doesn’t affect me so lets do it” brigade.

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