Turns out I'm a God

[JonnoJonno]

Evening cunts

So I'm cooking a spicy chilli and going great guns with the chopping, when I run my Zwilling cook's knife across one of the tips of my left hand fingers.

Pouncing spontaneously upon the wound, armed with a kitchen towel I succeed in stemming the bleeding (although legally converting my quorn chilli into a non-vegetarian option).

It is now 30 minutes after the event, and I am completely unable to discern which digit has been injured. I have searched each finger intimately, and even dipped my spectacles to look closely at my hand, and can still not remember which finger was sliced.

I have healed like a God. Bow down and worship me you mortal twunts.








A couple of bottles of wine may or may not have been involved, but the tissue remains as evidence

 

[Ballistic]

The wine has caused double vision.

You may think you've counted ten fingers but in actual fact you've sliced your fcuking hand off

 

[TattooDog]

We are not worthy :worship:
We are not worthy :worship:
We are not worthy :worship:

 

[Haggis_Catcher]

Evening c

A couple of bottles of wine may or may not have been involved, but the tissue remains as evidence

may have a effect you will wake up in the morning with something like this.

 

[WreckerL]

Check your partners hand, my son.

Plus that's twice in 2000 years I've had to sort your hand wounds [email protected]

 

[JonnoJonno]

Check your partners hand, my son.

Plus that's twice in 2000 years I've had to sort your hand wounds [email protected]

Thanks Dad.

 

[WreckerL]

Check your partners hand, my son.

Plus that's twice in 2000 years I've had to sort your hand wounds [email protected]

Thanks Dad.

No probs, sorry I forgot your birthday card

 

[JonnoJonno]

Check your partners hand, my son.

Plus that's twice in 2000 years I've had to sort your hand wounds [email protected]

Thanks Dad.

No probs, sorry I forgot your birthday card

I did notice. I suppose I can get my own WHSmiths voucher.






Cunt 8O

 

[Rumrat]

Check your partners hand, my son.

Plus that's twice in 2000 years I've had to sort your hand wounds [email protected]

Thanks Dad.

No probs, sorry I forgot your birthday card

I did notice. I suppose I can get my own WHSmiths voucher.

You fcukin Pikey, you had 6 digits to start with.
Have you cut the point off your bonce yet.
Cnut :wink:







Cunt 8O

 

[Rumrat]

Got any spare curry? 8O :wink:

 

[JonnoJonno]

Got any spare curry? 8O :wink:

Anything to keep the staff quiet

 

[NotmeChief]

Have you tried going for a piss?

 

[JonnoJonno]

Have you tried going for a piss?

Good point!

 

[JonnoJonno]

We are not worthy :worship:
We are not worthy :worship:
We are not worthy :worship:

Do you already have my paypal for 'donations'?

 

[Rumrat]

Fcuk sake JJ count again.

 

[JonnoJonno]

Fcuk sake JJ count again.

6, yes. And your point is? 8O

 

[Rumrat]

Fcuk sake JJ count again.

6, yes. And your point is? 8O

You now have five and the curry tastes better. Simples

 

[JonnoJonno]

Fcuk sake JJ count again.

6, yes. And your point is? 8O

You now have five and the curry tastes better. Simples

Dammit, I thought human tongue had a bone. 8O

 

[AngryMonkey]

I propose an acid test. We nail you up to a cross for a few days, stab you in the ribs and then bury you in a cave. If after three days you've managed to pull a Houdini then you truely are the King of Kings.

 

[JonnoJonno]

I propose an acid test. We nail you up to a cross for a few days, stab you in the ribs and then bury you in a cave. If after three days you've managed to pull a Houdini then you truely are the King of Kings.

Worked last time. Fucking yids spoiled it. If only people realised that Hitler was the Holy Spirit. 8O