Turns out I'm a God

JonnoJonno

Banned
Evening cunts

So I'm cooking a spicy chilli and going great guns with the chopping, when I run my Zwilling cook's knife across one of the tips of my left hand fingers.

Pouncing spontaneously upon the wound, armed with a kitchen towel I succeed in stemming the bleeding (although legally converting my quorn chilli into a non-vegetarian option).

It is now 30 minutes after the event, and I am completely unable to discern which digit has been injured. I have searched each finger intimately, and even dipped my spectacles to look closely at my hand, and can still not remember which finger was sliced.

I have healed like a God. Bow down and worship me you mortal twunts.








A couple of bottles of wine may or may not have been involved, but the tissue remains as evidence
 

Ballistic

War Hero
The wine has caused double vision.

You may think you've counted ten fingers but in actual fact you've sliced your fcuking hand off
 

Haggis_Catcher

War Hero
JonnoJonno said:
Evening c

A couple of bottles of wine may or may not have been involved, but the tissue remains as evidence
may have a effect you will wake up in the morning with something like this.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
JonnoJonno said:
WreckerL said:
JonnoJonno said:
WreckerL said:
Check your partners hand, my son.

Plus that's twice in 2000 years I've had to sort your hand wounds [email protected]
Thanks Dad.
No probs, sorry I forgot your birthday card :oops:
I did notice. I suppose I can get my own WHSmiths voucher.

You fcukin Pikey, you had 6 digits to start with.
Have you cut the point off your bonce yet.
Cnut :D :wink:







Cunt 8O :D
 

AngryMonkey

Lantern Swinger
I propose an acid test. We nail you up to a cross for a few days, stab you in the ribs and then bury you in a cave. If after three days you've managed to pull a Houdini then you truely are the King of Kings.
 

JonnoJonno

Banned
AngryMonkey said:
I propose an acid test. We nail you up to a cross for a few days, stab you in the ribs and then bury you in a cave. If after three days you've managed to pull a Houdini then you truely are the King of Kings.
Worked last time. Fucking yids spoiled it. If only people realised that Hitler was the Holy Spirit. 8O
 
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