Truisms

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
#1

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'
[TABLE="class: yiv1684939836ecxMsoNormalTable"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="class: yiv1684939836ecxMsoNormalTable"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="class: yiv1684939836ecxMsoNormalTable"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="class: yiv1684939836ecxMsoNormalTable"]
[TR]
[TD][TABLE="class: yiv1684939836ecxMsoNormalTable"]
[TR]
[TD]
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
<><>
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
<><>
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
- Mark Twain
<><>
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns
<><>
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
<><>
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
<><>
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
*Remember that Socrates committed suicide by drinking hemlock because of his shrew wife! –Joycelene
<><>
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
<><>
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
<><>
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
<><>
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
- Alex Levine
<><>
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
<><>
Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
<><>
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
<><>
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
<><>
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
<><>
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
<><>
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
<><>
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
<><>
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]












 
#2
Wake up each morning thinking it could be your last day on earth, one day you'll be ******* right!, ....JETHRO, 1989., It's better to be pissed off than pissed on, Jock Wilson, Chief Stoker, HMS Antrim, 1971...., If you can't wake up with a smile on your face, go to bed with a coathanger in your gob,.....JETHRO 1991...., Life is like a turd sandwich, the more bread you've got the less shit you have to eat,...Me, today
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
janner Miscellaneous 14

Similar threads

Latest Threads