Trick or treat?

Discussion in 'Current Affairs' started by hobbit, Oct 31, 2006.

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  1. Tonight is the night of that effing American practice of trick or treat when rabid effing kids roam the streets , knocking on doors then saying trick or treat. This is for Halloween when witches are supposed to fill the skies on their broom- sticks and all sorts of weirdos plague the planet. Apart from the inconvenience of answering the door, not a good idea with the present violence in the community, if you say treat it is then needed to give the little gits some candy( vomit ) or other treat. Failure to give a treat may result in your home or vehicle being covered with eggs and flour or some other act of vandalism. Who needs this crap?

  2. Used to be a fun experience when I was a kid however I can't help but agree that there is a more menacing undertone with a lot of the little "door knockers" these days.

  3. That reminds me - I must wire the doorbell button directly to the mains when I get home!!
  4. I have installed a sign in the window which reads

    "NO trick or Treat!This is not the USA,NOW GO AWAY!"
  5. This is the night of the hunters moon, it is a time when the veil between good and evil is at its thinnest, have to go scaring myself shitless.
  6. Oh you miserable old gits, whatever is the matter with you. I would rather sit in a bath of worms than talk to a child, but I find a large orange bowl full of sugary sweets proferred when the doorbell goes tonight and their little faces, painted in goo or covered with a scary mask soon light up and they go away.

    They are just little children enjoying themselves.

    I repeat again - you miserable old gits.
  7. Let's look at this another way:
    Kids are kids, no matter what country they're from. If you are setting yourself up as the nieghbourhoods' grouchy old fart, then you're making yourself a prime target, whether you dispense with treats or not.

    However, it's a known fact that people are reluctant to mess with you if they think you're crazy. Take me for example: I've been told by a somewhat reliable source that I am considered by many of my neighbours to be the Freaky Ex-Marine Who Keeps Dangerous Snakes in his house.
    I live a very quiet existence, even the Jehovah's witnesses walk on by.

    So here's what you do:
    Take off all your clothes and smear yourself with lard, then when the doorbell rings, answer wearing nothing but a pair of seven-league boots and an eyepatch, commence to do a riverdance whilst singing "A British Tar" from HMS Pinafore, all the while slapping yourself in the face with a Victorias Secret catalog.
    Expect to be left alone. (Or hauled off)
  8. Oi,i do that every wednesday night!!How do you know?Have you got the NSA spying on me??????
  9. Well, you'll be pleased to know I had the big bowl of sweets for them (and me), said the appropriate things - "ooh, you're scary", "good costumes", "you're the best ones so far" etc etc and had my illuminated plastic lantern in the porch.

    However, BootneckYank's idea is looking pretty good too - especially the lard bit. 8O
  10. It does work, weve had no Trick ot treating at my doorstep!
  11. Which Brand of Lard do you use,Boot?
  12. Sno-Cap. The only way to go.
    Only instead of the Vic Secret catalog, I have my African Rock Python wrapped around my shoulders.
  13. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Bloody hell, Hello big boy, are you from Texas 8O :eek:
  14. Thats where im going wrong then.i only have an Adder!And Trex obviously dont cut it!
  15. Naw, Montana. Where the men are men, and the women are too 8O

  16. Is that where they Suck start Harleys?
  17. No one in that penniless state can afford a Harley (who would want one anyway?). I haven't lived there for awhile, but I imagine anybody who could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch would be welcome.

    Edited to ask: How long before this thread gets binned to poinless junk? any takers?
  18. I thought it was just getting interesting.
  19. One of the OZ TV channels had a poll on this with a resounding negative to accepting the practice


    Oh! and BTW it did start off as a genuine comment about a developing trend introduced in recent times and resented by the majority in the community I believe.The " crap " just happened although it's quite funny. With the TaT, as well as being a PITA it makes youngsters vulnerable to weirdos when knocking on doors at night IMHO
  20. Don't blame you a bit.
    Did you survive the night?

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