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Trick or treat?

hobbit

War Hero
Tonight is the night of that effing American practice of trick or treat when rabid effing kids roam the streets , knocking on doors then saying trick or treat. This is for Halloween when witches are supposed to fill the skies on their broom- sticks and all sorts of weirdos plague the planet. Apart from the inconvenience of answering the door, not a good idea with the present violence in the community, if you say treat it is then needed to give the little gits some candy( vomit ) or other treat. Failure to give a treat may result in your home or vehicle being covered with eggs and flour or some other act of vandalism. Who needs this crap?

:x
 

SILVER_FOX

War Hero
Used to be a fun experience when I was a kid however I can't help but agree that there is a more menacing undertone with a lot of the little "door knockers" these days.

SF
 

andym

War Hero
I have installed a sign in the window which reads


"NO trick or Treat!This is not the USA,NOW GO AWAY!"
 
This is the night of the hunters moon, it is a time when the veil between good and evil is at its thinnest, have to go scaring myself shitless.
 
Oh you miserable old gits, whatever is the matter with you. I would rather sit in a bath of worms than talk to a child, but I find a large orange bowl full of sugary sweets proferred when the doorbell goes tonight and their little faces, painted in goo or covered with a scary mask soon light up and they go away.

They are just little children enjoying themselves.

I repeat again - you miserable old gits.
 
Let's look at this another way:
Kids are kids, no matter what country they're from. If you are setting yourself up as the nieghbourhoods' grouchy old fart, then you're making yourself a prime target, whether you dispense with treats or not.

However, it's a known fact that people are reluctant to mess with you if they think you're crazy. Take me for example: I've been told by a somewhat reliable source that I am considered by many of my neighbours to be the Freaky Ex-Marine Who Keeps Dangerous Snakes in his house.
I live a very quiet existence, even the Jehovah's witnesses walk on by.

So here's what you do:
Take off all your clothes and smear yourself with lard, then when the doorbell rings, answer wearing nothing but a pair of seven-league boots and an eyepatch, commence to do a riverdance whilst singing "A British Tar" from HMS Pinafore, all the while slapping yourself in the face with a Victorias Secret catalog.
Expect to be left alone. (Or hauled off)
 

andym

War Hero
BootneckYank said:
So here's what you do:
Take off all your clothes and smear yourself with lard, then when the doorbell rings, answer wearing nothing but a pair of seven-league boots and an eyepatch, commence to do a riverdance whilst singing "A British Tar" from HMS Pinafore, all the while slapping yourself in the face with a Victorias Secret catalog.
Expect to be left alone. (Or hauled off)

Oi,i do that every wednesday night!!How do you know?Have you got the NSA spying on me??????
 
rosinacarley said:
I repeat again - you miserable old gits.

Well, you'll be pleased to know I had the big bowl of sweets for them (and me), said the appropriate things - "ooh, you're scary", "good costumes", "you're the best ones so far" etc etc and had my illuminated plastic lantern in the porch.

However, BootneckYank's idea is looking pretty good too - especially the lard bit. 8O
 
andym said:
BootneckYank said:
Naw, Montana. Where the men are men, and the women are too 8O



Is that where they Suck start Harleys?

No one in that penniless state can afford a Harley (who would want one anyway?). I haven't lived there for awhile, but I imagine anybody who could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch would be welcome.

Edited to ask: How long before this thread gets binned to poinless junk? any takers?
 

hobbit

War Hero
One of the OZ TV channels had a poll on this with a resounding negative to accepting the practice

:D

Oh! and BTW it did start off as a genuine comment about a developing trend introduced in recent times and resented by the majority in the community I believe.The " crap " just happened although it's quite funny. With the TaT, as well as being a PITA it makes youngsters vulnerable to weirdos when knocking on doors at night IMHO
 

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