Subbies (and any ****** else who from time to time may have to stand in)
The CO had to refill the beer fridge himself again this morning. When I found him at smoko he was pissed and sweating like a dingos bollocks.
You know he is an aging alchoholic and its not safe to let him in the stock room alone. In future the last subbie to vomit in the mess refills the fridge for breakfast.
The alternative is we follow the British model of latte and biscuits like a bunch of pillow biters.
Get it ******* right.
And the American version:
Subject: 20151110-Officers Refreshments Adjt-O
In a disastrous preemptive strike by insurgents, this morning at 10:35 the CO was found to have only half a pot of coffee.
Accordingly I have ordered an overnight air strike on heavily populated areas as a diversionary tactic to cover the airborne insertion of special forces. They will secure the city centre whilst 199th armoured will push through to the main objective, Starbucks.
Good luck. Godspeed and God me with you.
William Burford III, Adjutant
And now this!
Subject: 20151110- Refreshments Adjt-O
Our beloved Commanding Officer was served tepid coffee in bed this morning.
This reflects badly upon our soviet egalitarian armed forces.
To maintain moral I have issued death warrants on half the 5th Shock Army.