Toilets that need a good seeing to.

#1
No.1.

Nigella Lawsons' downstairs lavatory. She spends all her time cooking and writing
recipe books, and seeing as it's difficult to hire a cleaner on minimum wage these
days, most of the rest of her house has sort of gone to the dogs. Nigella said,
"No, it's not that gopping. Most of what you see is surplus melted chocolate from
cake baking...."

I think not.

 
#2
No.2.

Supermans
bog and Supergirls bidet. (Various locations throughout the city)

Even when they take a dump in their secret disguises, both of them have to
be particularly careful when dropping their guts. The toilet repair bill
in the city of Metropolis is estimated to be more than $3,000,000 a year.

 
#3
No.3.

Stevie Wonder.

An award winning song writer, musician and singer, but a fucking lousy
shot when he's taken by surprise after a plate of undercooked fried chicken.

 
#4
No.4.

The management and staff of the *TalkTalk* call centre New Delhi.

After the hacking debacle earlier this year, senior management and help-line
assistants had to return their company vehicles, so that TalkTalk could get
enough money together to reimburse unhappy customers. Inside lavatories
were also removed and sold and now all employees drop their logs in the
disused company car park.

 
#6
No.6.

The Colonic Irrigation Unit, Derriford Hospital, Plymouth.

7305072666_bc8940ab4f_b.jpg

This has been declared as an area if outstanding natural beauty by the National Trust. A family of wild beavers moved in two years ago and have been constructing turd dams ever since. Admission is £5 for adults and £1.50 for children with the option of a full English breakfast for only an extra £4.99 per person. (before 12:00 p.m.)
 
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#11
Runner up for this year's Turner Prize 2016.

This piece entitled "Say Faeces", sculpted by Dutch artist Joanne Van Phlegm Hooffer.
To be auctioned at Christies in January 2016, with a reserve of £12,000,000.

B0AQeFWCIAEFAEy.jpg
 
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#13
The Main Lavatory in the *Iceland* plc frozen food new lines
testing centre, Deeside Industrial Park, Flintshire.


Secret undercover surveillance photograph of the latest line.
*Iceland* Organic Bacon & Egg Flan. (2 for a £1).
After a good stirring, the mixture is scooped out with a
ladel and poured into used Chinese takeaway containers
for freezing and shipping.
The toilet is actually in the next cubicle.


hqdefault.jpg
 
#14
New "brown knuckle" ride to open at Alton Towers, Summer 2016.

"THE SKIDDER"

Thrill a minute, "Passengers" actually think they're just going for a dump.
When the bog doors shut - the ride takes off at 400 m.p.h. and completes
half a dozen 360 degree loops before the riders experience the effects of zero
gee. After being slammed about in a dung encrusted cubicle for five minutes,
they are let off the ride (Optional Photograph of the experience - £10.99 each).


dirty-toilet-6.jpeg
(Twin his'n'hers cubicles on "The Skidder" after the first evaluation test run)
 
#15
No.6.

The Colonic Irrigation Unit, Derriford Hospital, Plymouth.

View attachment 15039

This has been declared as an area if outstanding natural beauty by the National Trust. A family of wild beavers moved in two years ago and have been constructing turd dams ever since. Admission is £5 for adults and £1.50 for children with the option of a full English breakfast for only an extra £4.99 per person. (before 12:00 p.m.)
When the floor is full please use the toilets.
 
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