The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I went into one that had two bogs. One of the bog doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trollies and sat down. Suddenly and without warning, a voice came from the toilet next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?" Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied "Not too bad thanks." After a short pause, I heard the voice again, "So, what are you up to?" Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?" The next thing I heard him say was "Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. There's some cunt in the crapper next to me answering everything I say.' My check up. I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm trying to take your blood pressure" World of Sport. I was asked to run a marathon once and I said, "No chance - I'm not as fit as I used to be" Then I was told it was for spastics and blind kids and I thought, "Fuck it - why not?. I could win that." Road rage. This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car in front of me at a set of traffic lights. I must admit - I wasn't really paying too much attention. The driver of the other car got out and I could see that he was a dwarf. He came storming over to my drivers side window yelling, "I'm not fucking happy!" Being irritable, tired and not looking forward to another day at work I looked down at him and said, "Well, which one of the seven are you then?"