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Today my wife left me

Ha that got you - you fcukers, she's acually fcuked off to Brum for 3 days on a conferenc (so she says, but why did she buy new underwear?? all I get is the battleship grey tea stained gusset ones she normally wears. Still the fat ugly fcuker she's gone with is nowhere near as hansome and talented as old Stan. Still here I am on my lonesome, already cracked one wank on my hidden porn DVDs, walked the dog, couple of hours fishing (caught feck all) and actually missing the old trout.
Still there's always Wheelers in Torpoint later and a Wongs take-away, what a sad old twat - 10 years ago Iwould have rung for a whore and buttfcuked it all night still I have dug out my Snatch DVD out for later.
Suggestions for the next couple of days please
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Roam the country side (well, Torpoint) in your car lobbing dog turds at assembled groups of chavs in their bus shelters.

Finish the night minesweeping wets in Wheelers/Harbour shites and take a 14 year old slapper on to the ferry, smash her hoop in and leave her battered and bleeding on the other side.


Just a thought
 

drakdi

Badgeman
Go into Raleigh and spend the day with a class of new recruits. They are so entertaining and I am sure you would spin them a few dits to keep their enthusiasm for the RN alive.
 
JonnoJonno said:
Mate, if she means that much to you I'll send the little whore back.
Not too bruised I hope and carrying a small cheque for services rendered after all she is a rather mature old mare and knows a few tricks
 

JonnoJonno

Banned
stan_the_man said:
JonnoJonno said:
Mate, if she means that much to you I'll send the little whore back.
Not too bruised I hope and carrying a small cheque for services rendered after all she is a rather mature old mare and knows a few tricks

No worries. Talking of tricks, can I have my hamster back please?
 
JonnoJonno said:
stan_the_man said:
JonnoJonno said:
Mate, if she means that much to you I'll send the little whore back.
Not too bruised I hope and carrying a small cheque for services rendered after all she is a rather mature old mare and knows a few tricks

No worries. Talking of tricks, can I have my hamster back please?
Still stuck up my arse I'm afraid and the crunchy nut cornflakes I've deposited in my knicks have yet to tempt the little fecker out
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
I think you should go with the whore option but go hunting for them. That way, you can drive to somewhere secluded and do a Sutcliffe on them.

Failing that, start a riot. If i see it on the news, i'll come down and assist.
 

Ballistic

War Hero
You could hijack the Cremyll ferry and use it to conquer Drake's Island where you could declare it to be an independent state.

You could invite fellow RRs to help you form a government...
 

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
Try a rabbit skin glove inside out and a large tube of ky enjoy. Failing that out on the lash and big eats then back onboard. :wink: :D
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Bergen said:
rosinacarley said:
StixJimboRM said:
Go to Exeter and speak in tongues in the middle of the new shopping centre

oo theres a new shopping centre in Exeter?

The Janner Turnip Market

 
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