To Kill a Chav....

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#1
Let me put my cards on the table here. I hate the fuckers. Really, really hate them. While reading the other thread about them, my blood pressure rose and i had to go and beat my neighbour bloody to get rid of my aggression.

These people are leeches on our society and believe it or not, Rentokill refused point blank with my request to liquidate a family of chav vermin from near my Nans gaff. The world has gone soft. Now then, i am sure there are lots of imaginative ways of ridding the country of these scum but what think you all of this:

Get a few mates together and go chav. This will get you into the mindset of these untermensch. Drink lots of White Lightning cider, smoke cheap fags and say things like "Get me bruv", "Innit" and "Wha gwan me hench" to each other. Once sufficiently tanked up on gut rot, call on your mucker with a shotgun licence and raid his locker of all over/unders and shells that you can lay your hands on. Go to the local chavs house and position a cut off group at the rear and the main party at the front. Pour petrol through the letter box, ignite, and as the filth come pouring out, open fire with shouts of "View Halloo" and "Tally Ho" etc etc. To inflict maximum casualties, this will be best executed at around 1600hrs, as you are pretty much guaranteed they will be in beddy bo bos.

I feel slightly better now.
 
#3
Blackrat said:
Let me put my cards on the table here. I hate the fuckers. Really, really hate them. While reading the other thread about them, my blood pressure rose and i had to go and beat my neighbour bloody to get rid of my aggression.

These people are leeches on our society and believe it or not, Rentokill refused point blank with my request to liquidate a family of chav vermin from near my Nans gaff. The world has gone soft. Now then, i am sure there are lots of imaginative ways of ridding the country of these scum but what think you all of this:

Get a few mates together and go chav. This will get you into the mindset of these untermensch. Drink lots of White Lightning cider, smoke cheap fags and say things like "Get me bruv", "Innit" and "Wha gwan me hench" to each other. Once sufficiently tanked up on gut rot, call on your mucker with a shotgun licence and raid his locker of all over/unders and shells that you can lay your hands on. Go to the local chavs house and position a cut off group at the rear and the main party at the front. Pour petrol through the letter box, ignite, and as the filth come pouring out, open fire with shouts of "View Halloo" and "Tally Ho" etc etc. To inflict maximum casualties, this will be best executed at around 1600hrs, as you are pretty much guaranteed they will be in beddy bo bos.

I feel slightly better now.
Imagine how many of them you could slay in a oner if you applied that method to the promenade in Yarmouth. There'd be sovereign ringed hands held high agogo.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#5
Clown_Puncher said:
Imagine how many of them you could slay in a oner if you applied that method to the promenade in Yarmouth. There'd be sovereign ringed hands held high agogo.
As long as i got that Uberchav Jimmy Saville in there as well. I wrote to that cunt when i was eight asking if he could fix it for me to drive a tank. Did he fuck. I had to join up to do that. Bloody jangle jangle wig wearing jewellery sporting shell suited cigar smoking ee urgh ee urgh ee urghing chav bastard.
 
#6
Blackrat said:
Clown_Puncher said:
Imagine how many of them you could slay in a oner if you applied that method to the promenade in Yarmouth. There'd be sovereign ringed hands held high agogo.
As long as i got that Uberchav Jimmy Saville in there as well. I wrote to that cunt when i was eight asking if he could fix it for me to drive a tank. Did he fuck. I had to join up to do that. Bloody jangle jangle wig wearing jewellery sporting shell suited cigar smoking ee urgh ee urgh ee urghing chav bastard.

That kiddy fiddling cnut wouldn't sort me out with a karate lesson from Mr Miyagi either.
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
Blackrat said:
Clown_Puncher said:
Imagine how many of them you could slay in a oner if you applied that method to the promenade in Yarmouth. There'd be sovereign ringed hands held high agogo.
As long as i got that Uberchav Jimmy Saville in there as well. I wrote to that cunt when i was eight asking if he could fix it for me to drive a tank. Did he fuck. I had to join up to do that. Bloody jangle jangle wig wearing jewellery sporting shell suited cigar smoking ee urgh ee urgh ee urghing chav bastard.
I asked the cnut if I could have a guided tour of Auschwitz, he never replied. All I got was a letter from one of the researchers asking if I was a Millwall fan.
 
#11
Bung 'em all in a coal fired power station furnace. Not only will it reduce the amount of coal we burn (carbon footprint and all that) and also put something back into society as electrical power, the melted down bling could go to the Bank of England to help with the national debt.

Everyone's a winner
 
#12
Blackrat said:
Drink lots of White Lightning cider, smoke cheap fags .

Dear Sir,

I must complain about this sweeping statement, some of which I have quoted. Some of, if not all, of the RN's finest submariners drink 'white' cider, though normally Diamond White due to our huge pay packets. White Lightning would only be considered during the last few days of the month when things get tight.

That apart, as for the Chavs problem, what about nuking them? Then they could be used as bio luminescent street lighting, imparting a gentle green glow over our much safer streets.

Yours disgustedly,
Faslane
 
#13
Guys what about this idea, i know we all hate chavs but there is not alot we can do im afraid but......

Has any one played modern warfare 2 ? Well if not let me explain. There is a mission which is called ''No Russians'' its based in a airport and you basically mow down everything thaat moves.

Anyway what about a mission called ''No Chavs'' but based in a housing estate, where we can play on line or something and just take a gentle walk with our GPMGs, Minimis etc and gun them all down, lets be honest is a chav a civillian ?? i think not, Gordon Brown goes on about our country being threatened by terrorist but the real enemy is ''THE CHAV'', they pollute the English Lanuage and infect their hiddeous dress sense amonst the general public.
So once again i ask in kindness to game developers please make this game, as it would give non-chavs a escape route too let of some steam.
 
#16
daffy1 said:
Guys what about this idea, i know we all hate chavs but there is not alot we can do im afraid but......

Has any one played modern warfare 2 ? Well if not let me explain. There is a mission which is called ''No Russians'' its based in a airport and you basically mow down everything thaat moves.

Anyway what about a mission called ''No Chavs'' but based in a housing estate, where we can play on line or something and just take a gentle walk with our GPMGs, Minimis etc and gun them all down, lets be honest is a chav a civillian ?? i think not, Gordon Brown goes on about our country being threatened by terrorist but the real enemy is ''THE CHAV'', they pollute the English Lanuage and infect their hiddeous dress sense amonst the general public.
So once again i ask in kindness to game developers please make this game, as it would give non-chavs a escape route too let of some steam.
Only if they make the game a battle sim before you go out on the streets, wouldn't want to slot an innocent civilian coming home from the gym by mistake
 
#18
F**k it, the game idea is s**t, its not good enough, i dont think it will help peoples anger, what about put a chav in a punch bag ?? that could work.
 

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