To be,or not to be? Thats the fcuking question???

#1
:? I'm going through a terrible identity cricis. : :( I've been a Teddy Boy since I was about fourteen ,but just lately its been a bit limited to the odd Rock N Roll night at the local and my bicycle chain has got a bit rusty also the local plod keep confiscating my knuckle dusters. :( I was wondering if I should become a "Chav" instead :?: Chavs get to sit in Wetherspoons all day, they have baseball caps and thirteen year old girlfriends small B.M.X bikes and/or rusty Novas ;- they also get to appear on Jeremy Kyle[with a free night in a hotel thrown in] They get expenses paid trips to Norwich to appear on Trisha, wear shitty chains from Ethel Austin's and unlimited beefburgers. :p Sounds tempting! My mates down at the local say that the only drawback is that I'd have to move to Hartlepool or Yerefud 8O and say that I should stay with the long black jacket and D.A, because I'm a "Big Cult" well I think that's what they said :oops: Advice please :(
 
#2
jesse said:
:? I'm going through a terrible identity cricis. : :( I've been a Teddy Boy since I was about fourteen ,but just lately its been a bit limited to the odd Rock N Roll night at the local and my bicycle chain has got a bit rusty also the local plod keep confiscating my knuckle dusters. :( I was wondering if I should become a "Chav" instead :?: Chavs get to sit in Wetherspoons all day, they have baseball caps and thirteen year old girlfriends small B.M.X bikes and/or rusty Novas ;- they also get to appear on Jeremy Kyle[with a free night in a hotel thrown in] They get expenses paid trips to Norwich to appear on Trisha, wear shitty chains from Ethel Austin's and unlimited beefburgers. :p Sounds tempting! My mates down at the local say that the only drawback is that I'd have to move to Hartlepool or Yerefud 8O and say that I should stay with the long black jacket and D.A, because I'm a "Big Cult" well I think that's what they said :oops: Advice please :(
Dear Jesse, Acne can be such a serious problem for one such as yourself. It is a curse of all Teddy Boys and most Chavs as well. It is brought on solely by masterbating and cheating at Uckers, The amount of spots is determined solely on the total amount of improper thoughts you have in a day. Yours are quite heavy and concentrated which proves that you are a dirty little fcukker.
The cure is simple and effective so don't despair!
1.You must attend Aggie Westons church service Twice a Day for one week, after that the spots will begin to vanish.
2. Listen to Helen Shapiro "Gettin back to Happiness" on a Triumph 250cc
3. Stop your timber shifting habits immediately, ie. No Suckbacks and No Blowthroughs. :wink:
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
#8
There is an alternative Jesse, become a Goth. The young ladies will be kneeling before you faster than the roadrunner does a mile, beep beep.
 
#9
jesse said:
:? I'm going through a terrible identity cricis. : :( I've been a Teddy Boy since I was about fourteen ,but just lately its been a bit limited to the odd Rock N Roll night at the local and my bicycle chain has got a bit rusty also the local plod keep confiscating my knuckle dusters. :( I was wondering if I should become a "Chav" instead :?: Chavs get to sit in Wetherspoons all day, they have baseball caps and thirteen year old girlfriends small B.M.X bikes and/or rusty Novas ;- they also get to appear on Jeremy Kyle[with a free night in a hotel thrown in] They get expenses paid trips to Norwich to appear on Trisha, wear shitty chains from Ethel Austin's and unlimited beefburgers. :p Sounds tempting! My mates down at the local say that the only drawback is that I'd have to move to Hartlepool or Yerefud 8O and say that I should stay with the long black jacket and D.A, because I'm a "Big Cult" well I think that's what they said :oops: Advice please :(
Several times of late you have indicated that you would like to have a face to face with me. Now you have revealed that you are a teddy boy/ transitional Chav, I think I may have to decline.
As I am black and a member of a Rastafarian revival group, I would feel safer attending a KKK dinner party, as at least it would be in a high profile
venue.
If you could offer some sort of guarantee that I will leave the meeting in the same amount of pieces as I arrive I would contemplate attending.
I would when we meet like to go for a curry with you, a nice beef one, but am worried that you might not be able to chew your meat. Do you have your own teeth, or do you want me to bring some for you.
Also I must warn you that as I am Jewish I do not eat pork scratchings like you Midlands people, or indulge in feasts of seafood from a basket.
I was recently the brunt of a bad joke by a member of RR who seemed to take delight when a hurricane hitting Birmingham made me homeless.
I take it from our recent conversation you are a little deaf, I did not say I have Herpes, I said I have Hermes, I am a carrier.
See you soon Jesse,
Regards,
Steve Leroy Winston Smith.
PS Why would a Teddy Bear wear a long black jacket, does it inhibit your ability to climb trees?

Edited to say that Steve Leroy Winston Smith is not my real name, I made up "Smith." :wink:
 
#10
LujonSA said:
Topstop said:
Passed-over_Loggie said:
trelawney126 said:
2. Listen to Helen Shapiro "Gettin back to Happiness" on a Triumph 250cc
Wouldn't a Grundig radiogram be better? The speakers on them Triumphs was rubbish!
What about a Bush? 8)
Kate never sang 'Walking back to hapiness' did she?

Wasnt Helen about 14 when she sang that? She would have barely had a bush 8O
 
#11
LujonSA said:
Topstop said:
Passed-over_Loggie said:
trelawney126 said:
2. Listen to Helen Shapiro "Gettin back to Happiness" on a Triumph 250cc
Wouldn't a Grundig radiogram be better? The speakers on them Triumphs was rubbish!
What about a Bush? 8)
Kate never sang 'Walking back to hapiness' did she?
Walking??....
Nah she was "Running" up that hill, then went looking for Heathcliffe :wink:
 
#12
Rumrat said:
LujonSA said:
Topstop said:
Passed-over_Loggie said:
trelawney126 said:
2. Listen to Helen Shapiro "Gettin back to Happiness" on a Triumph 250cc
Wouldn't a Grundig radiogram be better? The speakers on them Triumphs was rubbish!
What about a Bush? 8)
Kate never sang 'Walking back to hapiness' did she?
Walking??....
Nah she was "Running" up that hill, then went looking for Heathcliffe :wink:
Out on the wild and windy moors sweet Roland caught VD. :lol:
 
#16
8) "Helen Shapiro?" Is modern as are Triumph motor bikes! It's Carl Perkins, Elvis 1956 , The fat man[Blue Monday}, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis [Even if he did screw his 13 year old cousin ] The Coasters , Dell Shannon, the Big Bopper. I could rant on for ever The motor bike we lusted after was the B.S.A. Bantam. Black shirts with cut away collars an white knitted,or, slim jim ties. Midnight Blue Suits with drape jacket and 16"bottom trouser legs. The most modern group I would cross the road to see is Status Quo 8) . I kept it up all the way through the Andrew so I've decided not to be a Chav but to stay a Ted :twisted: And be as my mates at the pub say"Be a BIg Cult";- Well that's what I think I heard them say :? 8)
 
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