time off with loved ones?

hope you can help.. both me and my partner want to join the RN but he wants to be a diver and me an AET.
we both love each other and I am happy to let him join and he like wise. but i worry about the fact that i might not see him for months on end.. and that i would miss him so..
so i ask is there any chance that i will be able to see him on the odd weekend or be able to spend some holiday time with him?



War Hero
It'll all end in tears.......

Seriously, if I were you, I think you should seriously reconsider both of you joining up at the same time. I've seen it happen time and time again lads and lasses joining up and their relationships not lasting the distance.

However, I have also seen relationships last through thick and thin..

As an ex AEM (AET now) who went warfare, I know from first hand experience that you'll do fcuk all sea-time as an AET. If your other half does join as a diver and gets based in Pompey or Guzz, then happy days-you should see him a fair bit. However, if he gets posted to Jockistan, then that will be a struggle for both of you...

As for missing him if you don't see him for months on end, how do you think the rest of the Navy copes? It isn't easy but it is doable.
i have spent time away from him b4, but just not for long periods,
say that me or him do get post to jockistan how long would the tour b4? is there a good postal service or internet connection. i don't mind not seeing him everyday just i would like to know if we can ring, email or even snail mail each other, or if he or i can come home for leave
as long is i can get leave at the same time. which i realise that this is not alway possible.

Deleted 7

Totally agree with t_M, maybe thinking of not joining up at the same time and see how one of you goes?

Apart from that, t_M has summed it all up!

btw - hello and welcome!

thanx for the advice, i will talk to my partner about it. it is an issue, that both of us have to resovle.
thanx again



War Hero
My wife and I are both in, it's easily do-able but it will in no way resemble the life of any of your friends, little things like running a house become a logistical nightmare, pets forget them, kids forget them.

We both enjoy our careers very much but we spend half our lives planning, this is our first Christmas together for 4 years!

I am not trying to put you off but you need to think long and hard about this, if you can make it work it is brilliant and the rewards are well worth it.


War Hero
When I married my wife she was a serving PO wren range assessor and I was an LREM(A) (wafoo). This was in 1968 and times were easy. Wrens did not go to sea (and wafoos got lots of shore time too). Our life was as normal as any civilian couple apart from short periods of separation.
However times now are much more difficult for serving couples. Women not only go to sea but promotion for them is more difficult. My wife was promoted to PO wren after only 4 years, in those times the average service life for wrens (all branches) was about 2 years and wrens had their own rosters (hence some incredibly young PO and CPO wrens).
Now wrens have entered the real world all has changed, same rosters a male counterparts. Interchangeable for drafting. I cannot imagine life in the modern navy being as easy as it was in my time.
As chieftiff says, it is do-able but I reckon that it wil take a lot of working out and aa great deal of tolerance on both sides.