Ticket Collector


Lantern Swinger
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets. He rings the
bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the
bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At
the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's
sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner
grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch
over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. Can I have that green
banana?" The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till
he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch
sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke
clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I
go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never
happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling
tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke
is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The
executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up
to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in
the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have
that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The
executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats
the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of
volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears
the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't
believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The
executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair
smiling. "What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says
the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The
executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
included. The executioner pulls the handle and a bazillion volts go
through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive
without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still
be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do
with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,
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> >"I'm just a really bad conductor"