Ticket Collector

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Tas-ape, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets. He rings the
    bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the
    bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At
    the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's
    sent to the electric chair.
    On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner
    grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch
    over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. Can I have that green
    banana?" The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till
    he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch
    sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke
    clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I
    go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never
    happened before."

    The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling
    tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
    still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke
    is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The
    executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up
    to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in
    the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have
    that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The
    executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats
    the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of
    volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears
    the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't
    believe it and lets the man go.

    Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
    again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
    time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The
    executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair,
    determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair
    smiling. "What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says
    the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The
    executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
    included. The executioner pulls the handle and a bazillion volts go
    through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive
    without even a burn mark.
    "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still
    be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do
    with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

    Nahh" said the bloke,
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >"I'm just a really bad conductor"

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