Things that p**s you off - post your rants


War Hero
She'd most probably say "You're not Dapper, he's got a bigger knob"
No self-respecting matelot would ever use a false name whilst taking advantage of a gullible young lady, would they?

Some time about 1973, and recently married, I and my wife visited my parents at their home in a sleepy Home Counties market town. After initial chats and cups of tea, my father drew me aside and quietly asked if I knew a young lady (I forget the name) who lived in South Carolina.

I said no, largely because it was true. My father then said that this lady, seemingly a bit thick and failing to understand the transatlantic time difference, had telephoned at about 1 a.m. a few nights earlier asking for me. She told my father she had met me in Charleston when my ship had visited the port. She had subsequently traced the number using directory inquiries, the family surname and the name of the market town (I had in fact lived at the family home prior to getting married. )

My father didn’t believe my denial, and with a “nudge, nudge, wink, wink” said it was OK to tell him and he would not of course mention anything to my wife. He was a bit put out, and I think a bit disappointed, when I still denied the allegation; in fact, in 1973 I had never even been to the United States.

I was aware, though, that an RN warship had recently visited the Eastern seaboard of the USA, and that a killick photographer had been attached for publicity purposes. The same RN phot, as it happened, who had taken my wedding photographs at the parish church in the sleepy market town .............

What an amazing coincidence! He denied it, of course, the bastard.


Lantern Swinger
Never knew if it was true or just a black cat

but yank turns up at gangway in the States and says to QM 'looking for a bloke called Harry'

QM asks why

Yank says' because I lent him some money last night and he said cheers mate cause I'm Harry Skinters'

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