They've breached my community

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by guestm, Feb 2, 2010.

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  1. Whilst going to get my paper today, and wondering how many more hours in the pub I'll spend during my weeks leave, I noticed a new shop had sprung up just off the high street. Noticing the word "Game" on the sign I thought I'd have a closer look and see if I could pick up a new game for my 360.

    It's a fcuking Games Workshop, only it isn't, it's GAMES FRONTIER. On peering inside, I saw three middle aged men, two with ponytails, one bald with a big pointy death metal goatee, gathered around a table painting models of goblins. Goatee geek was also wearing multicam head to toe, the others were wearing massive oversized black polo shirts with wizards on the front.

    I had heard a rumour that these people exist, but never before had I clapped eyes on these godless creatures; now here they are in my fcuking community.

    They must be purged from society, the question is, how?
  2. One of these weirdos joined the mighty E a few years back and was very odd, he also had narcolepsy which added to his alluring character.

    As a joke we put a dit on daily lies, saying:
    'Anyone interested in starting a ship's Warhammer society is to contact PO(MEM) Taff P****'

    Unfortunately PO(MEM) P**** was not interested in Warhammer at all, infact he was only interested in shitting in people's bats, fighting, being naked and getting tanked up, in short he was the ship's duty nutcase who was not to be approached let alone fcuked with.

    When spotty young goth OM turned up knocking on the PO's mess door looking for PO(MEM) P**** in order to paint some druids together, he was swiftly ejected down the flat and back down the mess ladder from whence he came.

    Good times.
  3. I would sell up and move out now before property values collapse.
  4. I happened to step into one of these wierdo shops while i was in rehab(i was doing my apologise to everyone i had hurt stage I was banging his missus in a car park and he caught us so i banged him out).Anyway they are a strange bunch and he did get his revenge by attacking me with one of those big fcuk off conan swords it all kind of helped me back on the drinking wagon never do i have to apologise again without adding "I was drunk you know what im like".
  5. These are the kind of people you can expect to start seeing in your town, they may even try to get into your boozer. The only force these people respond to is burning down their shitty little shop, stamping on their plastic toys and deploying your deathray.*

    *By deathray I obviously mean pint glass to the head.

  6. [​IMG]


    cant beleive these people they even have warhammer conventions!
  7. M L P your fcuked when they start breading !!!!
  8. Actually, that last one is a GenForce lecture at Chicksands.
  9. Is that an Int Corps unit T shirt he is wearing? I couldn't quite make out the cap badge before. :wink:
  10. Can't say too much (he's the badge and would be mightily annoyed if I did), but you may notice that he is making a 'shell dropping from the sky' sound whilst dropping a tactical nuclear shell on the concentrated enemy forces. +3 for him and a +2 pre-emptive bonus for starting WW3
  11. Awesome, he looks ally as fook with his beard. I like the way he has thrown in some jewellery and glasses to throw people off the scent.
  12. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Why? Are they gash bakers?
  13. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    I blame the jackass who invented that dungeon & dragons crap many years ago, he should be made a sacrifice to the god of booze and burds with big smackers.
  14. When feeling down and at a low I often enter a Game shop to see these people in their natural habitat.
    After a few short minutes I feel revitalised and whole again, ready to face whatever life throws at me.
    I feel these people offer a service that is mis understood and under used.
    Seeing how these sad people exist and go about their strange and meaningless life really cheers me up. :lol:
  15. Hate to break it to you, but he's already dead. Spiteful bastard, inflicts dungeons & dragons on the world and then clears off....
  16. [​IMG]
    Looks like some sort of bondage whip 8O .
    MLP if your into that, then its you lucky day. Now you know where u need to go to get a quick fix ;)
  17. The good thing is that with the Toyota recalls we all have an excuse to run over the fucktards and mongs who populate our world.

    Does anyone have one to rent out, or for a small fee carry out the work required on our behalf?

    I'm so happy I'm weeping
  18. Wrong! It is of course the Vulcan Cat O' Nine Tails deployed by all Space Marine Speshul Forces Master Sergeant Majors 1 Class to defaet the wrags of Mars.
  19. 8O
  20. My local gameswap shop is a combo of the two, sells used games for consoles and PC, but also little lead figures of "space marines" and "Warhammer online 40,000" or something. I asked the girl on the till where the naked rollmat fighting set was, when some Emo/goth kids came in. I wondered aloud if there was a kebab shop for the lead figures to fight outside, and where they go drinking and shagging after a hard days rolling a 12. They mostly got it to my surprise, said that after any shore leave they are missing 20% of the troops and get child support letters from the alien CSA....

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