They really know how to get things right in Cornwall fcuking Pointy Heads

Been doing a lot of work in South West Cornwall for the past couple of weeks, manic fcuking roadworks everywhere! For a County that relies heavily on tourism they really know how to piss off the visitors, this morning lovely warm sunny day roadworks on the main route between Newquay, Crantock, Perranporth and acces to Truro and further South 4 miles of stationary traffic with a 10mph convoy speed restriction, deep joy with a car full of kids.

After the floods and storm damage has prevented a great many tourists visiting this year you would think the local Council and the Highways Agency would have got their shit in one sock and avoided or delayed it to later in the year - it must be costing a fcuking fortune.

Rant over
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
In fairness, it is Cornwall. It should be sawn off from the mainland, left to float in the Atlantic and used by the RAF as a target for strafing.
 

paybobsquarepants

Lantern Swinger
They do this in Argyll too. Specially at this time of year. The Scottish schools break up at the end of June, the cones go up in early July, with the Greenock Fair. Mind you the Greenock Fair (Wakes week type thing) is synonomous with rain, so that's probably why the Jocklings fly off to the Costa Boakoanye.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
What Stan hasn't realised is those aren't cones on the roads in Cornwall, they're the local ASBO pointy heads, painted orange and buried up to their necks in the road. If you're not born here but a resident, you can get points taken OFF your licence for everyone you manage to side swipe.
 

Subsunk

Lantern Swinger
Book Reviewer
Been doing a lot of work in South West Cornwall for the past couple of weeks, manic fcuking roadworks everywhere! For a County that relies heavily on tourism they really know how to piss off the visitors, this morning lovely warm sunny day roadworks on the main route between Newquay, Crantock, Perranporth and acces to Truro and further South 4 miles of stationary traffic with a 10mph convoy speed restriction, deep joy with a car full of kids.

After the floods and storm damage has prevented a great many tourists visiting this year you would think the local Council and the Highways Agency would have got their shit in one sock and avoided or delayed it to later in the year - it must be costing a fcuking fortune.

Rant over
If they've just got pointy heads then they're no-good Johnny-come-lately Emmet incomers. Besides, Newquay's the North East. Come down to the real South West. Incomers down where I live stand out a mile as they don't have antennae. They also have teenage kids instead of pupating larvae.
 

DruAde

Lantern Swinger
Truro is terrible even in the winter . I can Kayak faster from Veryan to Falmouth faster then I can driving. As for the Emmets bring em on I make 2 quid a bag of clotted cream fudge outa them.

Comment of the week so far, me "Having a nice time ?" Emmet "No the wife hates it the roads are too narrow and there is too much sea weed on the beach"............ "Would you like a bag of fudge before you drive home sir?"
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
I can see Cornwall from my back bedroom windows. That's close enough for me.
Roll on retirement, selling up and moving back up to Yorkshire where being a
right miserable twat is positively encouraged.
 

MG Maniac

War Hero
We have a wonderful PFI (Private Funded Initiative for the uninitiated) whereby the local Council is paying "Island Roads" which is a wholly owned subsidury of "Ringway" which in turn is a subsidury of VINCI (Frog firm that resurfaces all the Frog Motorways) ... £1.5M a month for the next 25 years for them to do the bizz and resurface every council owned highway and byway and to replace all the streetlights from sodium into LED centrally controlled downlighters - the plan is to resurface every road over the first 7 years then the remainder of the time is maintaining the roads to a pot hole free standard. So far so good however ....

They've been going a year now and so far less than a third of the street lights have been replaced and we've had road surfaces "rejected" by the council as the work / materials were sub standard. The council will only let them resurface 500mtr in one hit so they can't do the Frog resurfacing process where they start one end of the road and work to they reach the other end with a rolling process ... so they either have to close the whole of the 500mtr and work on it at night (upsets the residents) or do half the 500mtrs at a time with traffic lights (upsets the residents) ... but when they finish the council won't let them do the next 500mtrs ... they send 'em off to the other end of the Island to upset another load of residents!

Couple that with the other "road works" going on (BT/Gas/Electric/Water) and there traffic lights everywhere! basicaaly a 'kin nightmare!
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Going home yesterday the road into the place where I live is now being resurfaced, unfortunately the cheapskates are using that beige coloured gravelly stuff, which meant you had to keep 200 yards behind the car in front or watch your paintwork disappear in a cloud of flying gravel, plus keep the windows up as you went through the dust cloud from the traffic. This morning they had a road sweeper vehicle creeping along at -5 mph (at 0700 FFS) throwing even more shit up and there's nowhere to overtake as it's a windy road through woodland/farmland...I'm not a happy bunny :(
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
.......and what's with all them they roundabouts within roundabouts at numerous Cornish road junctions eh?
With WolfPackLeader yellin' in my lug, the Satnav tellin' me to go straight ahead (through some hedgerows),
and THEN....yes - and fu**ing then, I come across Kernows answer to the a tin of spaghetti hoops, and I'm
sweatin' me bollocks off trying to keep the fu**ing caravan in a straight line, it's all bets off and time to go mental.
 

MG Maniac

War Hero
.......and what's with all them they roundabouts within roundabouts at numerous Cornish road junctions eh?
With WolfPackLeader yellin' in my lug, the Satnav tellin' me to go straight ahead (through some hedgerows),
and THEN....yes - and fu**ing then, I come across Kernows answer to the a tin of spaghetti hoops, and I'm
sweatin' me bollocks off trying to keep the fu**ing caravan in a straight line, it's all bets off and time to go mental.
Billy.

Word of warning!

Under no circumstances ever ... and I do mean EVER! try to negotiate a caravan though the middle of swindon Swindon! Kernow roundabouts pah ... nothing ... Magic Roundabout in Swindon ... who ever designed the thing is 'kin mental!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Roundabout_(Swindon) it must be bad ... its even got it's own Wiki page!

and if you're not convinced ..........

Magic Roundabout Swindon - YouTube


be afraid .... be very afraid!
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero


"I FU**ING SAID STAY IN THE OUTSIDE LANE ON THE FIRST ROUNDABOUT, THE INSIDE LANE
ON THE SECOND ROUNDABOUT TURN RIGHT, BEAR LEFT AND THEN GO RIGHT ON THE NEXT
ROUNDABOUT AFTER THE FIRST ROUNDABOUT.....BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN DO YOU?.......
OH NO.....GOT TO DO THINGS YOUR FU**ING WAY......!"
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Billy.

Word of warning!

Under no circumstances ever ... and I do mean EVER! try to negotiate a caravan though the middle of swindon Swindon! Kernow roundabouts pah ... nothing ... Magic Roundabout in Swindon ... who ever designed the thing is 'kin mental!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Roundabout_(Swindon) it must be bad ... its even got it's own Wiki page!

and if you're not convinced ..........

Magic Roundabout Swindon - YouTube


be afraid .... be very afraid!
Had to go on a course at BT headquarters last year, I had to negotiate that bastard every day for a week. The night I drove up there, I got to the magic roundabout and my Tom Tom said "fuck that, I'm racking out" and switched itself off!
 

taffscrivs

War Hero
I'm avoiding Cornwall for the summer, although I actually like the south western part. What with all the roadworks, shit for brains caravanners and pillocks trying to navigate with a fucking satnav stuck in the middle of the wind screen, Paignton is as far south west as I'm going. Now if you want a real shithole for roadworks, traffic jams and general chaos Hereford is the place for you, what a dump.
 
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