There's Nothing Worse Than...........

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Two of the Right, Feb 9, 2016.

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  1. This may have been done elsewhere but I've not seen it.

    What about those gross but hillarious things that have happened that you think 'there's nothing worse than'!

    They must be funny though!

    Here's one to get us started...

    There's nothing worse than......getting a turd in the hood of your foul weather jacket when you're on a Paint Cat doing the ship's side. Even after the Buffer masked the door up and the QM piped, fwd heads out of bounds............twice!!!!:D
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2016
  2. Busting for a crap, getting relieved on watch, legging it to the heads, overalls down, dump complete and then realising your ovies were in the way and you've just shat in them.

    Only did it the once mind, lesson learnt :oops:
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2016
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
  3. Same scenario as Wrecker but getting it in to the pan only to hear the gurgle and not move quick enough to have your deposit spat back at you as the system backs up.
  4. OK enough already. 'two of the right' is writing a book and stealing all our dits. Starting with the Naval Comparison' thread and now this.

    Please send my £5 to charity.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Letting rip a mega fart and realising that you have followed through while wearing white jeans.
    Never happened to me, I witnessed it in the Lennox.
  6. Working in the back of a seaking and locating a freight floor ring bolt with your knee cap :(
    • Like Like x 1

  7. Then he/she can have this horrible one:

    There's nowt worse than fingering your sister up the bum and when you pull your finger out, your dads wedding ring is on it.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  8. Having a shit in the Fwd heads of a Leander during a bit of roughers. Every time the bow goes down, everyone's shit comes shooting up through your legs.

    Or shitting in your beret, as its fallen out of the back of your 8/4's trousers and you've not noticed.
  9. Throwing up in the stew when hung over and its rough up top.

    'It'll be alright lad, just stir it in'!
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Trapping in Singapore. Nothing worse than pulling a local, shoving your hand in her nickers and getting a hard on that wasn't yours.

    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Nah, just reminiscing about the good old days!:D
  12. Having a blowout in your starboard flipflop at the top of the mess ladder, then landing at the bottom in a heap with yer legs in the air and your towel round your neck........ouch!!! Much to the amusement of your Oppo's :D
  13. And the lady sailors in the new navy
  14. Pissed up, in the bus station, taking a sly slash alongside a bus. Bus pulls away, to reveal a gang of old ladies in the bus shelter opposite getting a grandstand view!

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