The worst thing you ever put in your mouth

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by stan_the_man, Sep 29, 2011.

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  1. Mmm dodgy topic eh this isn't me "coming out" by the way!! Many years ago a rather young Stan trapped in Pompey pissed woke up with "it" in the morning thought I know I'll have a long piss dhoby me knob and maybe give the bint one for the road. Still half pissed I think mmm there's some mouthwash a long swill then fcuk me looked at the label Vaginal Rinse, the bint not only had thrush she almost fcuking poisoned me, couldn't get the taste out of my mouth all day.

    Whats yours?????????? cock????:-D
    • Like Like x 1
  2. One of those "Pineapple Chunks" that live in urinals!
  3. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Sucked off a bloke once, when he promised to pay me £1M. I'd do it again - but I'd want the money up front first... :oops:
  4. I did that for a bet once when shitfaced, makes your beer taste bad when you try to drink a gallon to get rid of the taste (bit like SPB's dit in a way....or so I've been told)
  5. Cold brussel sprout, dipped in chocolate.made a batch once, to catch out some little sh1ts trick or treating. Try'd one in the intrest of research. Appalling.
  6. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Never again, I feel like puking just thinking about it.

  7. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Aye right £1M, you'll do anything for a conviction.
  8. A grubbers cock. 7R Illustrious. That ended Viking night abruptly.
  9. The sweaty, flacid glans of a Royal Marine Commando.

    We were having a snag off in front of a load of impressionable teenage girls, they were horrified but mildly aroused which led to myself and said bootneck going two's up one of the uglier ones later that evening.
  10. Dit doing the rounds early 70's, Jack wakes up to discover crocadilpig's left nipple he had been sucking in the dark was actually a massive zit and he had sucked it dry of all it's custard.
  11. Didn't you get my cheque, I did post it?
  12. My daddy said it was "our little secret", so I guess I'll have to say Marmite.

    (Uncle Harry always washed his first in Fairy liquid......Uncle George dabbed
    some toothpaste on the end of it.......)

    Yep. Marmite.

  13. Monty I hope you swallowed!!
  14. Hey that's true and I was that sailor. Dumbarton deb in a Helensburgh foreshore shelter during a powercut. Not a zit though but an abscess. :puke:
  15. Pussers scran
  16. A brace.

    For the first few days, I felt like I'd turned into Jaws from Moonraker.
  17. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Sufferin Succotash!

  18. A brace of what? Hairy bollocks? :laughing5:
  19. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    In his Mouth??

    Whilst he's no longer around to tell us, I'd guess that NMC would answer:

    "My Japanesian relative's/English Rosebud's/HMS ASTUTE's cyber-foot." :-|:-|
  20. Shirley there'd be no room, what, with his foot being in there an' all? :laughing5:

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