The Wonderful World of Walters.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Oct 5, 2008.

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  1. Attention all Day-Dreamers! Why don't we keep it going?
    Post YOUR Sitreps relating to your latest Top Secret Mission
    or ongoing adventure in here. Saves cluttering up the rest
    of the site at least:

    (Ongoing Sitreps moved to here U.F.N.)

    Sitrep 001.

    Pheww! It's damn hot out here in da jungle. Anyhow - got
    me Camo-suit on, spotters been briefed and the target's due
    to appear some time soon. Will put a nice Red dot in the centre
    of his forehead and send him to Hell in a handbasket. Just about
    to lose the satellite conection on my ruggedized laptop here, and
    will have to spend a few hours up to my neck in stagnant river
    water. (Got to watch out for them nasty little fish that get into
    your trollies and swim up your Japs-eye though). Just remember.
    Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.

    ###connection lost###
  2. My name Walter Mitty
    I come from down your street
    And I can tell you anything
    Because we`ll never meet
    A top rate true blue Englishman
    My daddy was a “Sirâ€
    And mummy was a film star
    You must remember her.

    As soon as I was 16
    I graduated from school
    with a degree in naval policy
    that made their lordships druel..
    So off I went to Dartmouth
    And jumped straight in the breach
    `Cos I was not a trainee…oh no
    I went there to teach

    But I soon found that boring
    I wanted something grand
    And when I told their lordships
    The gave me a command
    Though it was my first ship
    It all came naturally
    So we loaded up with bullets
    And off we went to sea

    Soon we were in old Baghdad
    I didn`t like what I saw
    So I formed a raiding party
    And off we went ashore
    We soon found the tallyban
    “Shoot to killâ€. I said
    And after just a minute or two
    They all lay round us dead

    Then they asked me to arrest
    The king of Iraq ..who
    eventually I came across
    Hiding in a loo
    I frogmarched him back onboard
    He didn`t have much fight
    So I gave him to the Josman.
    To do with as he might.

    When I came under pressure
    I just thought what the heck
    And went and flew my harrier
    Up off the quarterdeck
    Sometimes I`d come across a mig
    So I`d get on his tail
    And after I`d sent him straight to hell
    I`d go and get the mail

    I went on many missions
    All a living hell
    All were near impossible
    But I cannot tell
    Before the age of 18
    Many things I saw
    And carried out so many deeds
    That I shortened the war

    But now I`m walking wounded
    I`m working as a mole
    The war has slowed me down a bit
    I pretend I`m on the dole….
    So all you Walter Mittys
    Come and draw your kit
    all you need to join up is..

    you must be full of shit….

  3. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Superb, did you pen that little ditty yourself? V impressive if that's the case.
  4. Yes tiddly..all my own work…though I have posted it on here before….

    Hope it raised a smile on this rainy Sunday afternoon

  5. UA, it certainly did!

    Semper Strenuissima
  6. Nice to see you back again writing your wonderful (rhyming) poetry UA. I've missed you greatly. :thumright:

    Walters did you say, er, erm, harrumph.....

    Thingy.... aka AAC.... aka Nozzy Nozzer :oops:

    PS: When is your autobiography and complete poems coming out......

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