The Which Guide To Joining The RN (v1.0 Lil's)

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by witsend, Dec 18, 2010.

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  1. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer


    Last edited: Aug 19, 2013
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN


    Ace work mate!
  3. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    And push it into Newbies...
  4. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    No this is absolutely the right section for this one.
    i recently took my daughter up to the Plymouth Offices, Doors were sadly found to be exactly as stated.
    First question......Army, Air Force or Navy ........."Navy!" was her proud reply.
    Second question.."Can you swim?"
    Daughter replies "Don't you supply ships?"............

    Guess its the ratings route for her.... :wink:
    Unless the defence cuts were more stringent than I thought :cry:
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    Personally I would just like to add that I think you are talking bollocks. And yes, I am shitfaced - you cannot believe howmany back spaces I have had to do...etc etc...
  6. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    Phew...its been a loooong night...
  7. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    Applicants for the Royal Marines should arrive 5 minutes before opening or any appointment, to ensure that the wrinkles have a chance to come out of their dress, from where they've been sitting down during transportation to the AFCO.
    RM applicants are also reminded that the musical apptitude test is carried out directly after the PJFT, so ensure that you've developed your lung capacity to cover not only the run but also the trombone/bugle/tuba (Dependant on which instrument is available at your local AFCO.) blowing test and that your upper body strength is capable of the sustained drum roll test. Reputedly one of the toughest Recruitment Tests in the World.
    For the interview study up on the role of the Royal Marines, what the Units do and their future deployments, equipment used by the Royal Marines and most important of all memorise the last issues of Paris Vogue, FQ and Harper's Bazaar. A general understanding of High Fashion, although not stricly nescessary at this early stage, would show enthusiasm and could score brownie points.
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  8. The use of the AFCO

    The AFCO is only there to provide you with the paperwork and provide you with a place to do the tests etc etc.

    If you have any questions what so ever, however important, they must not REPEAT not be directed to your AFCO or you will be put to the bottom of the list and your personal details filed under bravo.

    Instead there is a wealth of knowledge on the internet. The most useful of these sites is On there there are loads of people who are more than happy to divulge there wealthes of knowledge on the young thrusters (and thrustettes) wishing to join the senior service. They will not engage in witty banter with you when you ask the most bone questions or abuse you when you ask what colour pants should be taken to Raleigh. They will instead take you under there wing until the glorious day you pass out "into the fleet". This website is a must for all young jack's and jenny's.
  9. If you don't like what you hear from the AFCO staff, come on here and ask as many times as you like until you receive an answer that is the same as the one your mate told you down the pub.
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  10. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    Some buckshee AIB answers:

    Q "Is there any reason you did not put engineering down as a choice?"

    A "Because (Sir!) I like a bit of fresh air and don't want to be seen in dirty overalls"

    Q " ... ditto ... Logistics?"

    A "Because (Sir!) Mummy says they are not really gentlemen"

    Q " ... ditto ... aircrew?"

    A "Because (Sir!) I was told that only fools and birds fly, and birds don't fly at night"

    Q " ... ditto ... submarines?"

    A "Because (Sir!) I don't like being constipated, although I realise one would no longer stink of Diesel. Sir."

    Q " ... ditto ... the Royal Marines?"

    A "Because (Sir!) I want to use my excellent brain to kill the Queen's enemies not my bare hands in case the enemy has some nasty communicable disease. Plus I thought a hot shower and a dry sherry when I come off duty might not always be available. Sir."

    Q (despairing and exasperated) "Why do you want to be an Officer?"

    A "Because one has always known that one is sent by God to rule over the lower orders."

    Q "One last question - can you find your way to the Gosport ferry?"
  11. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    What, like triangle?
  12. Re: The Which Guide To Joining The RN

    Damn it man have you not heard of EquipSec? :wink:
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  13. Beware of the trick question " Are you pottie trained?"
  14. Having secured entry to the establishment (only open forenoons wednesdays - but not every wednesday as staff need weekends too) do not be disheartened if your "Good Morning" is met by directions to the Met Office.
  15. I think this fantastic first post by this new member refers to CPOGIs/RM DLs response to "Good Morning Chief/First Drill." namely "What's fuggin' good about it?" etc.
    Either that or you're correct and the Mllllaaaarrrrr is strong in this one.:slow:
  16. Methinks he's watched the film "We Were Soldiers" once too often and is paraphrasing the excellent Sgt Major and one of his lines.

    Stealing quips and passing them off as your own...tsk tsk.

    Edited to add if you've not seen the moviie

    New Sgt..."Good morning Sgt Major"

    Sgt Major...."Are you the fcuking weather man now"
  17. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    More of an insiders tip from me.

    The windows on all AFCO's are one way, that means you can look in but the staff inside cannot look out. So, armed with this knowledge use the window as a giant full lenght mirror to check yourself over before entering the AFCO. Check your appearance, scratch your nuts and re-arrange them so everything is comfortable. Sort your cleavage, align your tights etc. Squeeze any random zits, work your jaw and lips so your not tongue tied when you first walk in. Practice saying your openning lines, even if it's "hello sailor" or "Good morning sir" and see how it looks in your reflection. Pat your hair down, check if any "pit" sweat is showing etc.

    All AFCO's have gym equiptment, tread mill etc, if money is tight or a gym unaccesible just ask to use there stuff. They are here to help you.

    In short, use the window as your last chance saloon to make sure everything is tickety-boo.
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2011
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  18. also the capability to use a crayon so you can leave your mark on the dotted lin
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  19. A duty which will now be undertaken by yourself for the next 22 (unless you take redundancy), but only when the RN tells you how and when. After that, you are well and truly alone, expected to look after yourself!

    Good luck with that.
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