THE U.S NAVY vs THE BRITS !

#1
Old but still amuses me...............................................


The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995 between a U.S. Navy ship and the British authorities off the Scottish North coast. The transcript was released by the MoD on the 10/10/95.



BRITISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.



U.S. NAVY: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.



BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.



U.S. NAVY: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy Ship, I say again, divert YOUR course.



BRITISH: Negative, I say again, you will have to divert your course.



U.S. NAVY: THIS IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET, WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS, DEMAND
THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.



BRITISH: WE ARE A LIGHTHOUSE. YOUR CALL.....
 
#2
Nothing changes.......US ship signals to passing Brit ship ( this was some years ago ) ' how is the second biggest navy today'
reply was ' how is the second best'
 
#5
In the 70s it was common for aircraft carriers to be shadowed by Russian trawlers, especially during NATO exercises. The captain of the Ark royal sent a message to one trawler asking if they would like some fresh bread. the trawler captain replied " If your exercise finishes as scheduled I have sufficient with me thank you".
 
#10
Straights of Gibraltar 1964 signal by lamp

USN Fleet Oiler to HMS Tenby

"We have FFO (Fleet Fuel Oil) you have rum how about a swop"

HMS Tenby to USN Oiler

"My men do not drink FFO"

Nutty
 
#11
Nutty said:
Straights of Gibraltar 1964 signal by lamp

USN Fleet Oiler to HMS Tenby

"We have FFO (Fleet Fuel Oil) you have rum how about a swop"

HMS Tenby to USN Oiler

"My men do not drink FFO"

Nutty
Close but no Cigar Nutty, I like to start the week being pedantic.

Furnace Fuel Oil, only served briefly on one ship that used it. Slightly easier to get into the boiler than coal!
 
#12
Makes for a good story... I first saw this as a Canadian Lighthouse..


In October 1995 USS Abraham Lincoln was in port.. in California..

April 11, 1995, Lincoln departed on its third WestPac deployment. The ship made port visits in Hong Kong (May 5 - 9) and Singapore (May 14 - 19), before entering the Arabian Gulf May 26, 1995. The crew made port visits to Jebel-Ali, United Arab Emirates (U.A.E.), four times during the first two months in the gulf. In response to renewed Iraqi military posturing, the Lincoln Battle Group was required to remain in the Arabian Gulf to participate in Operation Vigilant Sentinel. With plans to visit Australia dashed, the ship visited Jebel-Ali one more time before departing the Arabian Gulf on Sept. 11, 1995. The Lincoln took on family members and friends in Hawaii for a Tiger Cruise home, arriving in Alameda, Calif. Oct. 10, 1995.
USS Abraham Lincoln
 
#13
Chronic-Malcontent said:
Makes for a good story... I first saw this as a Canadian Lighthouse..


In October 1995 USS Abraham Lincoln was in port.. in California..

April 11, 1995, Lincoln departed on its third WestPac deployment. The ship made port visits in Hong Kong (May 5 - 9) and Singapore (May 14 - 19), before entering the Arabian Gulf May 26, 1995. The crew made port visits to Jebel-Ali, United Arab Emirates (U.A.E.), four times during the first two months in the gulf. In response to renewed Iraqi military posturing, the Lincoln Battle Group was required to remain in the Arabian Gulf to participate in Operation Vigilant Sentinel. With plans to visit Australia dashed, the ship visited Jebel-Ali one more time before departing the Arabian Gulf on Sept. 11, 1995. The Lincoln took on family members and friends in Hawaii for a Tiger Cruise home, arriving in Alameda, Calif. Oct. 10, 1995.
USS Abraham Lincoln
Slims' signature line sums it up, C-M:
"Never let the truth spoil a good dit."
 
#14
Could be just a good old Navy dit, but I heard one, years ago, about a Russian passing a Brit, the Russian signalled 'Peace', and the reply was 'Peace on you'.

:smile:
 
#16
Another dit re Red Navy

Large, powerful Rus. ship being shadowed by small Brit. struggling to keep up
Ivan "Suggest you attach washingmachine to engines to increase speed"
Jack "Am running on washingmachine, keeping engines in reserve"
:razz: :razz:
 
#17
My mate told me this one today.

Yank comes out of the "John" in the Gippo Queen, saying "We were taught to wash our hands".

3 badger sat in the corner replies "We were taught not to piss on ours"!

Keep Striving.
 
#20
Another dit re Red Navy

We were flying out of Rota Spain in the late 70s and had an overachiever Lieutenant with us.. he decided to take rolls of pictures of the Ruskie ships shadowing the NATO exercises .. many detailed pictures.. when processed and enlarged by the photo-intel guys they found the Ruskie crew, both male and female was a- very fat and b- nude sunbathing.. everyone except the Lieutenant had a big laugh..
 
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