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the things kids say!!

my little girl is 4 (going on 18), and she made me giggle earlier -
Me "do you know where milk comes from no?"
Daughter" yes Mum, ur no dont think so"
Me " From cows babe"
Daughter " no mum from the fridge!"

she was also heard earlier to say " nanny, your so stupid!!"

aren't kids great??!!!!
My kids never said anything cute when they were little, the swearing made me laugh cos I don't know where they got it from!
Grand daughter asked, "Why are fire engines painted Red?" Now I'm sure there used to be a dit about it. Anybody know it?

On a trip to Monkey World she came out with another classic. "Why do tractors go so slow?"

Keep Striving.
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman"
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:"ME."
These made me smile too:

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is NOT called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though, it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute,"
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
My Little Human, a neighbours 6 year old who adopted the Legiron and I as surrogate Grandparents went through the phase of having an imaginary friend called Jolene (don't ask). When ever anything was found broken or went missing or the cats left home for a couple of days due to unwarranted mini terrorism Jolene was to blame.

We weathered this storm with fortitude until Jolene brought a new friend to join in the fun, one Angus (again don't ask). Things took an almighty turn for the worse and we started to doubt out own sanity. The blagging of sweeties, crips (her word) and money increased to the level of a chavs night out on the town and drastic action was taken.

We removed the Little Humans favourite Winnie the Poo duvet cover and her Tigger pillowcases from her bed and told her that Jolene and Angus had nicked em while the Little Human was at Sunday School. This led to a furious (and hilarious) row between the three pals and Jolene and Angus were banned from the Little Humans clique forever. The bedding was "discovered" and replaced and peace descended on two harrased households.

Kids eh, who'd have em.

The other day the door bell rang. Our next door neighbours 6 year old boy was round our house so my wife said " Can you answer the door please Joe ? ", to which he replied (grinning) " Why ?, What question did it ask ? " - We've always hated the sarcastic little C*nt.

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