Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Jun 2, 2010.

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  1. "Raindrops on noses, and whiskers on kittens"
    "Snowdrops in winter and warm woolen mittens"
    "Brown paper parcels tied up with brown tape"
    "I use a crossbow when I'm on the r-a-p-e............"

    (The Corssbow Killer rap with special guest Julie Andrews)
  2. What sort of Iron is best for Raleigh?

    A 6 iron to wrap around the swede of dullards who clog the boards with numpty questions.
    Merry Crimbo to all
  3. Am Amish suicide bomber rushed into a crowded market today
    and blew himself up. He popped the balloon he was carrying and
    covered everyone in *Haribo* sweeties.

    What goes cip-clop-clip-clop-bang-clip-clop-clip-clop.

    An Amish drive-by shooting.

    * * * * * *
  4. Now this is the type of forum we should have, no dirty vulgar sailors on it. :D
    Well done BNM :wink:
  5. I must admit to missing the old days in the grot.
    There was none of this "Innit ya cnut!" business, oh no.
    The harshest curses were "Bloomin' ada" and "Jeepers" and you had to be a Stripey or 3 Badgeman Sniper to even consider uttering them.
    The best nights were when the Padre came round with mugs of Kai and led us all in group discussions on the 'Concept of the Christian warrior' or 'Sex, does it drain a man's combat effectiveness?'.
    Finishing off the night around 9ish with a rousing chorus of 'Kumbaiya' ensured that all were suitably refreshed for the next days work.
    I believe that we'd all be better off if we swore a little less and dug out blind at gentle aerobic exercise such as aqua jogging.
    You know it makes sense.
  6. The way we were. :wink: I am overcome by a wave of nausea,.. sorry I mean nostalgia :D
  7. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be
  8. I agree.We should all take a leaf out of Blackrats book and refrain from gutter language.After all we are all gentlemen here (and ladies, Sol)
  9. Blackrat?........are you reading the same threads as the rest of us?
    Blackrat only just avoided public flogging in several places he served, and it is said that he only secured a place in his last regiment as his family owned shares in it. It his said his language on occasions was so crude and vulgar that the cavalry blushed as they rode by.
    You will find I am the polite and modest one in these hallowed halls, I never swear or blaspheme, and never discuss "Grey" subjects.
    Blaqckrat will of course contest this statement, but of course it will hold no credence compared to my standards. I am not like him.
    I don't fuckin swear and take the twatting piss all the bastard time.
  10. Bloomin Heck,
    Capt Kinross n Shorty Blake will join this forum next!

  11. I remember those halcyon days; when we all thought that Wan King was a town in China, a Little Weed was a character in Bill 'n Ben and Muffin the Mule was a puppet.
  12. I like little kittens.
  13. Boiled or roasted ? 8O
  14. Yes, we can but hope.
  15. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I like pussy too... :)
  16. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    I like brown nosed puppies :wink:
  17. Smegma.

    What a wonderful thought provoking word it is.

    Most folk call it knob-cheese.

    * * * * * *
  18. Ladies can even get fridges with a label of contents on them

  19. :p Quite right,ahhh memories. When the sky was always blue and nobody ever locked their doors we only had the odd film at sea, the S.R.E. and rented black n white televisions ashore. The best time of the week was the Padres hour, the first call ashore was a meeting of the Extreem Plymouth Bretheren ,followed by tea and a sticky bun at Aggie Westons.Had we had access to video and D.V.D.s these would have been Songs of Praise, The Little House On The Prarie Stars on Sunday Noddy in Toy town and on radio thought for today. We were not into Kumbaiya so much has "Riding along on the Crest Of A Wave which we sang every morning before a cold shower. We all signed the Pledge and the one who said "Bum" and was caught drinking Shock Horror "TIZER" was banished to a place unknown and never spoken off or heard of again.LET THAT BE A TERRIBLE WARNING TO US ALL. :twisted:
  20. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I am glad that I mostly lurk on Arrse as this site is too 'ard for me innit? :D

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