The Shagging "Bracket"

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Montigny_La_Palisse, Aug 4, 2009.

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  1. Being a slow day the subject of conversation has inevitably desended into the usual topic of shagging. Now, the main cause of some consternation for a few was what the acceptable age bracket really is.

    How young is too young? How old is too old? Having smashed an 18 year olds back doors in not to long ago I have no issues with that but would probably feel a bit "wrong" had she been 17. And 16? Fcuk that sh1t, even if it is legal, but that said, have you seen French schoolgirls?

    And as for too old, is there such a thing? One of my oppos who is 28, tailed a 58 year old on Christmas leave, he maintains it was worth it.

    Is there even need for such a bracket to be enforced?
  2. Any hole's a goal 8)
  3. With that in mind, how old is Mylie Cyrus? The things I wish to do to her have even me concerned. Even if it is just to shut the little gobshite up.
  4. Under 16 is no go, depending on what she looks like, is there an upper limit ? (thinking Joanna Lumley :) ).
  5. I am quite happy with 18 to 65....but then again what age are you now would equal who you shag. eg, if your late thirty to early forties you would shag in that age group..if you got a younger one handed to you on a plate you would take it, so as this is a slow morning as you say monty then this comment should make it slower.... :roll: :wink:
  6. Where n is your age:

    Is apparently the lower limit.


    Could work for the upper limit :lol:
  7. Being in my early 30's, I have imposed a 15 year - and a 12 year + bracket which I feel is acceptable.

    There are of course times when the struggle to stick to this is a true battle of the conscience, especially when out on the lash in Newcastle.

    Bad, bad man.
  8. Couple of years ago an oppo of mine was spinning a dit about when he was 18 he did a 36 years old.

    "Just think twice my age! So now I'm 45 she'll be 90!" Not a hint of irony.

    Oh, forgot to mention, he's a former WOWtr.
  9. I do not think there is an upper age limit, it all depends on how good you are at keep your food down while ploughing a wrinked up Piss smelling old crusty bird, be honest if an ancient old crone offered you a squillion akcers to split her rank whiskers you would leap at the chance, even flick your tongue through her stench trench, try not to chunder just think of the money and your away!!

    But the young must be protected from the likes of Montigny_La_Palisse and his non existant standards, a true pervert knows no bounds so the blossoms must be looked after, even if they are disgusting slack twatted slappers by the time they are twelve.
  10. Old enough to Bleed old enough to Breed as for higher age bracket depends on looks or money
  11. Right, I'm happy now. My newly imposed acceptable shagging bracket takes me from Mylie Cyrus through to Fiona Bruce, so all is well.
  12. Do two eight year olds equal one sixteen year old? Thus making it legal...

    As Wan King, the ancient Chinese philosopher once so eloquently proclaimed:

    "If there's grass on the wicket and they're old enough to bleed......stretch their hoops, give 'em a kidney cracker and muck in their eyes"

    Wise words, wise words indeed.......
  13. I'd shag a barbers floor!
  14. I don't believe there is any limits within legal acceptability, if you fancy a 14 year old go to the netherlands.
    at my age I am grateful for anything and everything I get, although being the father of 3 teenage girls thier friends send awful thoughts through my head on sleepover nights.
  15. I always go by the rule that they're old enough when they leave school.

    Round here they leave school at 3 o'clock.
  16. I'd shag the crack of dawn if i could make it out of me scratcher in time :D :D
  17. For us on the other side of the gender line, isn't as much a matter of age ( though limits apply), but personal hygiene, cos there are grave doubts as to whether certain bods have seen the inside of a faucet for days......stale sweat, dirty bed linen, dirty flats or teeth = Outoutout. And if I want to eat cottage cheese, Asda do a nice variety, so clean the Head please.

    Agewise, defo no children, that's sick, end of.

    Men tend to get better (generally) as they age, pace, humour and technique.....though i'd draw the line at 55.
    Met a 71 year old couple of years ago, which put him at 40 when I was born, almost worth a shag.....beautiful bone structure,grey eyes to die for and the ex- personal eq. to Idi Amin, so had lived a life. Again, not that clean, so a no-no.
  18. Whats a "faucet"? Does MLP have to use it when girlies are dry?
  19. How did you know he wasn't clean?
  20. I'm in the bracket T, clean, 52 and fcuking essence and I'm up your way (fnarr fnarr) in a couple of weeks :wink: :wink:

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