The Rules...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rodgersthecabinboy, Apr 16, 2010.

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  1. For all you young and not so young thrusters out there who are looking for a long and happy relationship with the fair sex,here are the Rules of engagement.

    The Rules,

    The FEMALE always makes the Rules.
    The Rules are are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

    No MALE can possibly know all the Rules.
    If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the Rules,she must immediately change some of the Rules.

    The FEMALE is never wrong.

    If the FEMALE is wrong,it is due to a misunderstanding,which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
    The MALE must must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

    The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
    The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of of the FEMALE.

    The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
    The MALE must remain calm at all times,unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.
    The FEMALE must, under no circumstances,let the MALE know whether or not she wants the the Male to be angry or upset.

    The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

    If the FEMALE has PMT,all the Rules are null and void.

    The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.
    The MALE must be ready at all times.

    Any attempt to document the RULES could result in bodily harm.
    The MALE who doesn't abide by the Rules can't take the heat ,lacks backbone and is a wimp.

    Good Luck!!!
     
  2. Rodgersthecabinboy

    You are indeed a very wise man.
     
  3. That's why I'm gay and live with my hubby who understands my every need and we don't have to suffer these silly rules..... :wink:
     
  4. Whenever you are questioned by a woman, kick her in the teeth and rape her father.
     
  5. fair one
     
  6. Know what you mean wink wink, nudge nudge, elbow elbow, however for us breeders a woman does have certain qualities not found in another geezer :p :p
     
  7. And I totally understand and respect that Slim, but I guess you then can't complain about the price you have to "pay" for those qualities..... :lol:
    After all, those are the rules........ :wink:
     
  8. I now but when you have been living by them for over 40 years you get to know ways around them :p
     
  9. FFS Slim, now we are going to have to kill you.

    Thats a rule.
     
  10. Women, can't live with them, can't live without them.

    But there's always the pub!

    That's a mans rule. :lol:
     
  11. Slim your either lying :twisted: , living in a fools paradise 8) , or pissed 8O .
    I think maybe the later :D If you actually knew the rules, or a way around them, you would write a book, become instantly rich and then the rules change to your favour. :wink: :roll: :D
    Now stop trying to blag us and finish the bottle. :D
     
  12. "Yes dear, you're right, I'm wrong."

    Then carry on as before.
     
  13. You may think you do .......... :lol:
     
  14. Fortunately women are guilable to believe that we men do as they want etc, but of course we blokes know differently!

    That's our little secret.

    Doh, shouldn't have said that. Now they know.
     
  15. Yeah right, my missus taught the Inquisition a few tricks and was thrown out the SS. for brutality. 8O :roll:
     
  16. Divorced twice.................simples. brushteeth
     
  17. Is that the weak man's alternative to kicking the granny out of your missus? Fucking fairy :D
     
  18. Letting her think she's in control results in 100% more blowjobs. Mind you, without teeth the entire experience may be more pleasant.

    Talking of beatings, back when an ex broke her nose (not my fault, honest), I coached her to respond thusly:
    Stranger: What happened to you?
    Ex: *shuffles feet*
    Toucan: She walked into a door... She won't do it again.

    Drew some interesting reactions.
     

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