The Recruiting Joke

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Bunter, Dec 2, 2012.

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  1. An army recruiting sergeant opens up the High Street office and sits down at his desk. Very soon a chap comes in and says he wants to join the army.
    "Right, name?" asks the sergeant.
    "James McCoy"
    "Civilian occupation?"
    "I'm a sock tucker."
    "?"
    "A sock tucker. I work in a haberdashery shop, and we display socks on bits of cardboard in the window. My job is to tuck the socks on the bits of cardboard. I'm a sock tucker."
    "Orright," says the sergeant, "Durham Light Infantry for you, I think." And off the bloke goes.

    Next chap comes in and says he wants to join the army.
    "Name?"
    "James McCoy."
    "Eh? says the sergeant. "The last chap we had in here was called that."
    "Well, that's my name."
    "Orright. Civilian occupation?"
    "I'm a coke stacker. I drive a JCB in a coal yard stacking up piles of coke. I'm a coke stacker."
    "Orright, we'll put you in the Coldstream Guards." And off he goes.

    Third bloke comes in and gives his name as...
    "James McCoy."
    "Are you taking the piss?" asks the sergeant. "The last two blokes gave that as their name."
    "No, honestly. Here's my passport." Sure enough, that was the bloke's name.
    "Right. OK. Civilian occupation?"
    "I'm a cork soaker. I work in a brewery and the corks need to be wet before they are put in the bottle tops. That's my job. I'm a cork soaker."
    "Bloody hell," says the sergeant, "there are some funny jobs about. Right, I sending off to the REME."

    Forth bloke comes in, and lisps: "I want to join the Army."
    The sergeant is now convinced that he is the victim of an elaborate practical joke and says: "I suppose your name is James McCoy?"
    "Yeth!" says the chap
    "And you are a sock tucker or a coke stacker or a cork soaker?"
    "Oh no!" says the chap, as he puts a more than friendly hand on the sergeant's knee, "I'm the real McCoy."
     
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  2. Bloke walks in to the recruiting office and asks to join the Guards as an Officer.
    The Recruiting Sergeant asks him to pronounce "A " "I" "R".

    Air

    "H" "A" "I" "R"

    Hair

    "L" "A" "I" "R"

    Lair

    Put them together and what have you got?

    Air hair lair.

    Congratulations you are in.
     

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