Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Shock horror! Collingrad to be used as new entry establishment. Greenies and Clankies? Dabbers to stay at Raleigh?

https://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/d...ry-base-service-sees-huge-boom-demand-3045910

All this after J/R's being trained at Dartmouth, must be a massive increase in recruiting.
 

Ballistic

War Hero
 

SONAR-BENDER

War Hero
Here's a toughy for the street dwellers. Buckfast or Meths?

Well, we all know what Bucky tastes like (we do, don't we?) so this guy has tried out Meths for us!

 

Topstop

War Hero
ADVICE FOR THE ELDERLY ON SPENDING THE WINTER FUEL ALLOWANCE

About this time of the year, older taxpayers will again be receiving another 'Winter Fuel’ payment. This is indeed a very exciting programme, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is a 'Winter Fuel’ payment ?

A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase gas and electricity...or a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. Economy by spending your 'Winter Fuel’ cheque wisely:

* If you spend the money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka

* If you spend it on petrol your money will go to the Arabs

* If you purchase a computer it will go to India , Taiwan or China

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala

* If you buy an efficient car it will go to Japan or Korea

* If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan

* If you pay off your credit cards or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in the UK by:

1. Spending it at car boot sales

2. Going to night clubs

3. Spending it on prostitutes

4. Buying beer or whisky

5. Getting yourself a Tattoo

6. Visiting a bookie

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. )

Conclusion: Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !

No need to thank me...just glad I could be of help.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
skyvet The random thread of NO bollocks! Diamond Lil's 0
Rumrat The thread of random good ideas. (Or make Rumrat rich thread) Diamond Lil's 78
N The Random Thread of Mingingness Diamond Lil's 126
BillyNoMates The random thread of fluffiness Diamond Lil's 209
MoD_RSS News story: Quantum random number generator microchip for secure communications MoD News 0
B Random questions regarding joining Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 36
LujonSA Where is: some random inconsequential poster... The Gash Barge 28
2_deck_dash Real Ale Random Name Generator. Diamond Lil's 17
S Addicted! Just a little random comment Diamond Lil's 6
soleil Indie: "Random. Fallacious. Arrogant" - The Government's Confused Defence Strategy Current Affairs 3
janner Random thoughts Miscellaneous 0
BFC_69 Random shite sportsmen/women Diamond Lil's 20
Ninja_Stoker Compulsory Random Drugs Tests- 18 RN suspected positive. Current Affairs 142
Stepto Random Monty Python Quotes Diamond Lil's 36
andym Random funny shit. Diamond Lil's 0
Harry_off_the_Hermes First random ten tracks on your mp3 player. Diamond Lil's 33
brazenhussy Random rants................... Diamond Lil's 147
slim Motorists Face Random Booze Tests Current Affairs 33
MoD_RSS From Arab headdresses to the aerospace industry, the thread of history links us to the Middle East MoD News 0
D Close thread Diamond Lil's 53
F THANK YOU THREAD NOW CLOSED Miscellaneous 42
MoD_RSS Response to FT article and Twitter thread by Peter Foster MoD News 0
BillyNoMates The Lock-Down thread 2020. Diamond Lil's 563
C follow up to parents thread Royal Naval Reserve (RNR) 11
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp Thread Merge Request Site Issues 2
MoD_RSS Press release: Strengthening prisoners’ family ties: the ‘golden thread’ to reducing reoffending MoD News 0
BillyNoMates The P.S.O.F. thread. Diamond Lil's 12
BillyNoMates The 2018 thread of Resolutions Diamond Lil's 69
K Please Delete...Pointless Thread Now :) Joining the Royal Navy 31
C Walt Thread Petitions 45
SONAR-BENDER The 2017 Chrimbo thread Diamond Lil's 322
Stirlin Good News Thread. Diamond Lil's 11
janner Stirlins thread for when He comes back. Diamond Lil's 59
Bad CO Joining Up - A Thread For Parents/Guardians Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 617
woody28 Psychometric- yet another thread Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 2
HHH You Can Edit Your Thread Title Site Issues 0
BillyNoMates The Christmas 2016 Thread. Diamond Lil's 148
BillyNoMates Strange people creating accounts (amended thread title) Miscellaneous 18
Yetiboy48 Wrong thread Blue Jokes 8
GreedoTheFerret Yet another clearance diver thread... Sorry Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 7
mikh Disappeared thread Site Issues 35
A Norman - cumgargling mongtard thread-split. Diamond Lil's 39
F Probably my last ever thread Diamond Lil's 60
P Scottish thread Royal Naval Reserve (RNR) 0
W GYH(T) Thread UPO 1
Ninja_Stoker The "your name here" thread Diamond Lil's 205
SONAR-BENDER The crap journalism thread. Diamond Lil's 12
BillyNoMates RR Members phot thread (Only pics you've taken yourself) Diamond Lil's 1487
soleil Who cooked all the pies? (moved thread) Competitions 14
4 Asthma thread again Health & Fitness 3
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

Top