The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

slim

War Hero
Not sure may have seen one, did it have a kick start under the bonnet?
It certainly did.
Mine didn't the kick start was missing and the dynostart did not work.
I had to bump start it.
Mine was a convertible two seater and the gear lever was on the column.
Hood down push, knock into gear, thing always started quickly. then Knock into neutral and jump in.
It was great fun to drive.
 

Sumo

War Hero
It certainly did.
Mine didn't the kick start was missing and the dynostart did not work.
I had to bump start it.
Mine was a convertible two seater and the gear lever was on the column.
Hood down push, knock into gear, thing always started quickly. then Knock into neutral and jump in.
It was great fun to drive.
then a friend of the family had one, my brother had a bubble car, as he only had a bike licence he had to have a bar bolted on the stop him sliding into reverse, obviously that was in-place for MOT?
 

taffscrivs

War Hero
It certainly did.
Mine didn't the kick start was missing and the dynostart did not work.
I had to bump start it.
Mine was a convertible two seater and the gear lever was on the column.
Hood down push, knock into gear, thing always started quickly. then Knock into neutral and jump in.
It was great fun to drive.
Powered by good old Villiers 2stroke engine as were a lot British lightweight cars and motorbikes in the 50s/60s.
Unless you were a flash bastard with a Morgan three wheeler, they were powered by a mighty JAP or Matchless V twin!
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Mathematics:
This comes from 2 maths teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly ...... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings were someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+
7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will
take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+
7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with Mathematical certainty, that while
Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there.
Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!
 

Stirlin

War Hero
No.
Bond mini.

My dad had two of them.

Here's an example.
Not sure which one he had but our tech office manager at U of Y was ex - crab , he had a posting to Malta and shipped it over to use on the island. First day out he went shopping for victuals and when he came out of shop two locals were UNDERNEATH the 3 wheeler with a couple of others looking on , first one on the island and locals were curious. Only snag was it would not pull uphill in forward gear but it did in reverse , him and his missus had some right laffs on days out navigating the inclines.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Shamelessly stolen.


A man goes to see his doctor, feeling not too well....
The doctor checks him over and says "Sorry to tell you, you have Yellow 24, a really rare and nasty virus. It's called Yellow 24 because your blood turns yellow and you only have 24 days to live. There is no known cure for this, so just go home and enjoy your final days on earth"
The man goes home and breaks the news to his wife. The wife asks him if he would escort her to the bingo hall that evening as he had never been and had always promised her that he would share her evening with her.
They arrive at the bingo hall and with his first card the man gets four corners and wins £35
With the same card he gets a line and wins £320
Then, again with the same card gets a full house and wins £1000
Then the National game comes up and he wins that too getting £380,000
With this the bingo caller gets the man on the stage and says. "I have been doing this for more than 20 years and have never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full house and the National game all on the same card. You must be the luckiest man on earth"
"Lucky" the man screamed. "Lucky, I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24"
"For fxxx sake!"
says the caller. You've won the raffle as well!!
 
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