The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

Sumo

War Hero
News flash

The Nigerian Times

We regret to announce the death of businessman Mr. Duthi Omaloguto. He had no heirs, but left an estate of 2 billion Naira, which equals approximately US $5.500,000.

His lawyers said that for the last 20 years he had been trying to give away the bulk of his fortune, but nobody would answer his emails.........
 

mainbrace

Lantern Swinger
Eye Test For Nursing Home Applicants ....can you pass it?



A School of Psychology conducted a survey called - "What really do you see?”
People were asked to focus their attention on this simple picture and then asked

if they had noticed anything odd.

Now you also have a chance to test your skills and see if you can pass.........


cid:5BBD68D2-66D4-4A9C-940F-B7A0233A0DE5Study the picture for 5 seconds; then briefly state the oddest thing you see..



Here are the Results of the Survey:


1. 100% of males failed this test.

They were distracted by the woman's large bosom.


2. 100% of the females also failed this test.

They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.


The real answer (see below):






There's a mouse on one of the doughnuts……..


If you didn’t see it, YOU made the list and your room

is waiting for you!

Now don't tell me you saw it. I won't believe you.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Eye Test For Nursing Home Applicants ....can you pass it?



A School of Psychology conducted a survey called - "What really do you see?”
People were asked to focus their attention on this simple picture and then asked

if they had noticed anything odd.

Now you also have a chance to test your skills and see if you can pass.........


View attachment 47988Study the picture for 5 seconds; then briefly state the oddest thing you see..



Here are the Results of the Survey:


1.
100% of males failed this test.

They were distracted by the woman's large bosom.


2. 100% of the females also failed this test.

They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.


The real answer (see below):






There's a mouse on one of the doughnuts……..


If you didn’t see it, YOU made the list and your room

is waiting for you!

Now don't tell me you saw it. I won't believe you.
Even after you told me it took some finding
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Same winners every feckin
Disgusting!! Grey socks with brown sandals? What is he thinking? White would be far more acceptable, and would immediately accelerate the wearer to super-stud status!
I bet his wife picked them. Its what we in the business call "Feeding the stray cats rig"
If EVER I end up wearing that, please put me out of my misery with a lump hammer.
 

Stirlin

War Hero
Same winners every feckin


I bet his wife picked them. Its what we in the business call "Feeding the stray cats rig"
If EVER I end up wearing that, please put me out of my misery with a lump hammer.
Mrs Stirling the second took me shopping in Fenwicks one day , on the counter in Jaeger mens store was a half manikin draped in a cardigan the colour the chattering classes would call 'Mustard'.'' Why don't you buy this ?''
in other words SHE assumes I would look good in it ''Nope ''....'' Why not '' ...'' Cos I would not be seen dead in a cardy and it's the colour of baby cack''......que nearby shop assistant giggling. Wifey never spoke to me for 2 days afterwards......bonus.
 

SONAR-BENDER

War Hero
Mrs Stirling the second took me shopping in Fenwicks one day , on the counter in Jaeger mens store was a half manikin draped in a cardigan the colour the chattering classes would call 'Mustard'.'' Why don't you buy this ?''
in other words SHE assumes I would look good in it ''Nope ''....'' Why not '' ...'' Cos I would not be seen dead in a cardy and it's the colour of baby cack''......que nearby shop assistant giggling. Wifey never spoke to me for 2 days afterwards......bonus.
I dropped SWMBO off at a posh department store in Malaga yesterday.

Five, Yes 5, hours later I went to collect her - it was the old 'can I just show you something.....' Now to be fair it was stuff that she thought looked good, thought I'd like and she was going to buy for me.

It was all posh stuff too!! Telling her I hadn't caught the ghey yet worked!

On the plus side she did buy me a GORGEOUS bottle of gin! QA was carried oiut last night and it passed!
 

Waspie

War Hero
Mrs Stirling the second took me shopping in Fenwicks one day , on the counter in Jaeger mens store was a half manikin draped in a cardigan the colour the chattering classes would call 'Mustard'.'' Why don't you buy this ?''
in other words SHE assumes I would look good in it ''Nope ''....'' Why not '' ...'' Cos I would not be seen dead in a cardy and it's the colour of baby cack''......que nearby shop assistant giggling. Wifey never spoke to me for 2 days afterwards......bonus.
Two whole days, I dream of silence for a whole two days!!!!
Be worth taking the Mrs up to Newcastle if it meant two days of P&Q!!!!
 

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