The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

Sumo

War Hero
A cautionary tale for all home brewers;

I had twenty bottles of very old, very strong homemade wine in my shed. Yesterday I was told by my wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the sink or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the drain with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I did the same to five more bottles.
I then withdrew the cork from the next bottle and poured the wine down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the next sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank; pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank and drinked the pour. When I had every one emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, and glasses, and sinks with the other, which were Legion, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank.
I was not under tho alcofluence of incohol, as some theople pink I was. I was not as thunk as you might drink. I felt so feelish, I didn't know who was me, and the drunker I stood there the longer I got.
 

Dredd

War Hero
Super Moderator
The local traffic warden hasn't issued a single ticket in months.

What a silly place to put a road, right on a broken coast line . . .

Joke, honest. Noted with interest that a bit further up you could see the encroachment had extended right across the road and had reached the other side. If it wasn't blocked off as "road closed" before, then a sign of "road ends" would possibly make the point a bit clearer.
 

slim

War Hero
Nicked from Scrumpy on ROMFT

I visited the Web site bigbustycoons.com

You'd be surprised how many rich people like large public service vehicles.
 
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