The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

BillyNoMates

War Hero
I still have two boxes of some kind of liqueur chocolates, one bottle of port, an absolutely massive slab of Malteser chocolate and a M&S luxury Christmas pudding complete with two tins of pound shop custard.
Diet starts in February, or when diabetes sets in.
 
It is with deep sorrow, I have to report the Chrissy bottle of Pussers Navy Rum I acquired as a self pressie is alas, almost deceased, and will soon be no more. Despite super human restraint being exercised, I am down to my last tot. No longer by my side, said bottle forever in my heart.
I will see it off now and drink to your good health, each and every one of you, cause you all appreciate what sweet sorrow has befallen me.
The Queen, bless her....sob, sob.....and so it was done.....
Fret ye not - the 50th Anniversary of the Black-Enamelled Tot Day looms large at the end of July this year.

No excuses, 'tis a perfectly valid excuse reason for all former G Members to buy at least one more bottle of harry-neaters to celebrate that solemn but potentially joyous occasion...
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Today, my inbox doth floweth over with good people offering me mucheth wedge.
Do I feel lucky? Should I flash off a reply
saying, "Oooohh! Tell me more!" and reel 'em in?
I feel like winding some bastard up and stamping on their trachea, electronically speaking......
Then again, it could be 100% genuine.
Glory Glory Hallelujah!


(Extract from mail just received)

Good morning, my name is Mrs Glory Samuel widow without any child CANCER PATIENT here in this hospital, I need to help me fulfill my last wish With My heritage fund, which is worthy of $ 6.5 million dollars, which I inherited from my late husband, please, if you are interested to help me fulfill my last wish kindly back to me for more details, your sister in Christ Mrs Glory Samuel
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Today, my inbox doth floweth over with good people offering me mucheth wedge.
Do I feel lucky? Should I flash off a reply
saying, "Oooohh! Tell me more!" and reel 'em in?
I feel like winding some bastard up and stamping on their trachea, electronically speaking......
Then again, it could be 100% genuine.
Glory Glory Hallelujah!


(Extract from mail just received)

Good morning, my name is Mrs Glory Samuel widow without any child CANCER PATIENT here in this hospital, I need to help me fulfill my last wish With My heritage fund, which is worthy of $ 6.5 million dollars, which I inherited from my late husband, please, if you are interested to help me fulfill my last wish kindly back to me for more details, your sister in Christ Mrs Glory Samuel
Reading that, it's a scam from Sumo!!
 

Dredd

War Hero
Super Moderator
As seen on Blue Peter . . .

Poundland GP candle.jpg

(and yes, I know it has been discontinued so only a certain demographic is going to get the reference)
 

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