The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

BillyNoMates

War Hero
I have just won an argument.

WolfPackLeader shouts from downstairs that the bifold door I'm working on is "still squeaking /making a noise etc etc"
I'm also on the phone (multitasking).
I say on the phone line, "Can you hear any noise from this door I'm opening and shutting like a lunatic?"
"Nothing - sounds quiet to me", is the reply.
I then yell down the stairs,
"I've just had **** listen to this fucking door and he said he cannot hear any fucking squeaks... and he's more than nine thousand miles away in Western Australia!
This door is done...... any questions?"

Let's see if she can reverse that in her favour.
 

skyvet

GCM
I have just won an argument.

WolfPackLeader shouts from downstairs that the bifold door I'm working on is "still squeaking /making a noise etc etc"
I'm also on the phone (multitasking).
I say on the phone line, "Can you hear any noise from this door I'm opening and shutting like a lunatic?"
"Nothing - sounds quiet to me", is the reply.
I then yell down the stairs,
"I've just had **** listen to this ******* door and he said he cannot hear any ******* squeaks... and he's more than nine thousand miles away in Western Australia!
This door is done...... any questions?"

Let's see if she can reverse that in her favour.
Beware Billy ,,,,,,,, sometimes it takes time, but like death and taxes, it always happens eventually. Incidentally, if it helps, I can't hear any squeaking over here.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Basically, it's all Barry Bucknells' fault.

7235378_1073781547.jpg

If it wasn't for him, there wouldn't be any blokes shambling round B&Q with thousand yard stares and wives with "brilliant ideas".
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
IMG_20200119_150226-1248x1664.jpg
Go on, criticise it. Perfecto - and its absolutely squeak free. Rather pleased with myself so I shall celebrate by raiding the Christmas biscuit box.
 

Stirlin

War Hero
I would ask you to come and fix mine Billy but it is Housing Association property and they would do it for nowt , I am not allowed to fix it myself.
 

SONAR-BENDER

War Hero
...... so I shall celebrate by raiding the Christmas biscuit box.
Sir, I have the honour to report that this afternoon at 1630 we finished the final piece of Christmas cake.






However, we have 2 entire puddings, lots of choccies, tins of biscuits and some mince pies to go!

I'm working on it!
 

Sumo

War Hero
I have just won an argument.

WolfPackLeader shouts from downstairs that the bifold door I'm working on is "still squeaking /making a noise etc etc"
I'm also on the phone (multitasking).
I say on the phone line, "Can you hear any noise from this door I'm opening and shutting like a lunatic?"
"Nothing - sounds quiet to me", is the reply.
I then yell down the stairs,
"I've just had **** listen to this ******* door and he said he cannot hear any ******* squeaks... and he's more than nine thousand miles away in Western Australia!
This door is done...... any questions?"

Let's see if she can reverse that in her favour.
Nothing is that esay @BillyNoMates, a woman scorned and all that, back to sleeping with one eye open, one of the ones in your head.
 
It is with deep sorrow, I have to report the Chrissy bottle of Pussers Navy Rum I acquired as a self pressie is alas, almost deceased, and will soon be no more. Despite super human restraint being exercised, I am down to my last tot. No longer by my side, said bottle forever in my heart.
I will see it off now and drink to your good health, each and every one of you, cause you all appreciate what sweet sorrow has befallen me.
The Queen, bless her....sob, sob.....and so it was done.....
 

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