The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
We're not having christmas dinner in our house this year, we are having Brexit dinner. It's the same as christmas dinner but without Brussels.
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
A man and a woman were deeply in love. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.
One day, as they drove down the motorway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can’t stand it anymore," she told him. "Let’s play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I’ll remove one piece of clothing."
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 75 mph mark, so she took off her blouse. At 80, off came the pants. At 85 it was her bra and at 90 her panties.
Now, seeing her naked for the first time, and traveling faster than he ever had before,he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, over an embankment and wrapped the car aro...und a tree.
His girlfriend was thrown clear, but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas, he was stuck. "Go up to the road and get help," he sai
d.
"But I haven’t anything to cover myself with!". she replied.
The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You’ll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came an truck Eddy Stobart driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over.
"My boyfriend, my boyfriend!" she sobbed, "He’s stuck and I can’t pull him out!"
The wagon driver, looking down at the shoe between her legs, replied, "Missus, if he’s in that far, I’m afraid there’s no hope for him."
 

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