The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Drunk not driving, drunk driving horse and cart being towed by a drunk driver, drunken horse, drunk horse and cart driver falls off cart, drunken horse staggers to a halt, drunk not driving falls over.
End of.....

 
Last edited:

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Whilst in the club the other day I got an old World War ll navy veteran to tell me about one of his exploits during his time on destroyer duty guarding the coasts of Britain, he said that one of his worst memories was when whilst out on patrol in the Atlantic, a tell tale series of blips were picked up on the underwater sonar, so as they had been taught they proceeded to drop a series of depth charges, it was after their third attack that a lookout reported a possible hit, the crew raced to the side of the ship and peered into the water, what happened next really surprised some of the old sea dogs, air bubbles, oil slicks, and pieces of wreckage surfaced, and then the strangest thing of all, about thirty dead sheep floated to the top, this so confused the crew as nothing like this had ever been reported before.
The mystery was finally cleared up two years after the war had ended, when it was revealed that they had sunk a ewe boat.
 

Ballistic

War Hero
Whilst in the club the other day I got an old World War ll navy veteran to tell me about one of his exploits during his time on destroyer duty guarding the coasts of Britain, he said that one of his worst memories was when whilst out on patrol in the Atlantic, a tell tale series of blips were picked up on the underwater sonar, so as they had been taught they proceeded to drop a series of depth charges, it was after their third attack that a lookout reported a possible hit, the crew raced to the side of the ship and peered into the water, what happened next really surprised some of the old sea dogs, air bubbles, oil slicks, and pieces of wreckage surfaced, and then the strangest thing of all, about thirty dead sheep floated to the top, this so confused the crew as nothing like this had ever been reported before.
The mystery was finally cleared up two years after the war had ended, when it was revealed that they had sunk a ewe boat.
0001groan.jpg
 
Whilst in the club the other day I got an old World War ll navy veteran to tell me about one of his exploits during his time on destroyer duty guarding the coasts of Britain, he said that one of his worst memories was when whilst out on patrol in the Atlantic, a tell tale series of blips were picked up on the underwater sonar, so as they had been taught they proceeded to drop a series of depth charges, it was after their third attack that a lookout reported a possible hit, the crew raced to the side of the ship and peered into the water, what happened next really surprised some of the old sea dogs, air bubbles, oil slicks, and pieces of wreckage surfaced, and then the strangest thing of all, about thirty dead sheep floated to the top, this so confused the crew as nothing like this had ever been reported before.
The mystery was finally cleared up two years after the war had ended, when it was revealed that they had sunk a ewe boat.
Quite frankly Janner, that is fuckin terrible......have you no pride?
 

huwshpis

War Hero
Can't stand the stuff, I find it sickly sweet. I'm used to be a Young's drinker, now heavily into Gosling's Black Seal and the odd glass of wine.
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy...level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this, and I don’t
 

Sumo

War Hero
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy...level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this, and I don’t
I have Dutch Donker bread, heavy on the Rye, wounder where the umph was coming from?
 
Can't stand the stuff, I find it sickly sweet. I'm used to be a Young's drinker, now heavily into Gosling's Black Seal and the odd glass of wine.
Gosling's Black Seal.....has been my rum of choice since I emigrated to Canada..... Wood's not being available In Canada/USA.....In addition, being a sofisticated retired spo, the odd glass of quality red has been known to pass my lips......isn't retirement the fuckin bizz.........:)
 

Sumo

War Hero
Gosling's Black Seal.....has been my rum of choice since I emigrated to Canada..... Wood's not being available In Canada/USA.....In addition, being a sofisticated retired spo, the odd glass of quality red has been known to pass my lips......isn't retirement the fuckin bizz.........:)
Life's to short to waste on poor quality wine and other alcoholic drinks.
 
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