The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

repoman

War Hero
Someone here can probably help me out. I have been in the shit and at the skippers table a few times so I know the routine. Now, I was watching a dit last night on Royal Navy training at HMS Raleigh. Some tosser called Penny, ended up in front of the table as a defaulter(and subsequently discharged from the Andrew). NO off caps???? Have things changed that much?
 

Jacobus

Lantern Swinger
Mount Isa in Queensland ....

Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man (Luke Sandery) leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"..

37930
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Someone here can probably help me out. I have been in the shit and at the skippers table a few times so I know the routine. Now, I was watching a dit last night on Royal Navy training at HMS Raleigh. Some tosser called Penny, ended up in front of the table as a defaulter(and subsequently discharged from the Andrew). NO off caps???? Have things changed that much?
If she was up for DUDT (Discharged Unsuitable During Training), they go in front of the Commander for either a final warning or kicked out, it's not a disciplinary so no off caps, if being trooped then off caps.
 

repoman

War Hero
If she was up for DUDT (Discharged Unsuitable During Training), they go in front of the Commander for either a final warning or kicked out, it's not a disciplinary so no off caps, if being trooped then off caps.
Thanks Matey, that clarifies things a bit. Been trooped a few times as an OD, always had to doff my lid.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Thanks Matey, that clarifies things a bit. Been trooped a few times as an OD, always had to doff my lid.
Dit on

SR's can be DO's now (have to be two rates higher than the rating) which is what I basically did at Raleigh for my last 3 years. The first one I took to the table as a DO, the crusher shouted "off caps" and, like a prat, I took mine off. The Cdr just looked at me and said "force of habit Chief", cue red face as I replaced my lid and much sniggering from the crushers!
 

Ballistic

War Hero
Dit on

SR's can be DO's now (have to be two rates higher than the rating) which is what I basically did at Raleigh for my last 3 years. The first one I took to the table as a DO, the crusher shouted "off caps" and, like a prat, I took mine off. The Cdr just looked at me and said "force of habit Chief", cue red face as I replaced my lid and much sniggering from the crushers!
 

Sumo

War Hero
I heard on the radio that the Paras are investigating the use of Jeremy Corbyn on their targets for shooting practice, is the crime defacing government property?
 

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