The Random Thread of Bollocks (NSFW)

Sumo

War Hero
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First-year veterinary students were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary
medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a
doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything
involving an animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger into the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but
eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and, sucked on it.......followed by assorted gagging, retching and spitting.

When everyone had finished wiping their faces, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life is tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
 

Sumo

War Hero
I used to have an identity crises', I thought I was a tramp with an alcohol problem, then by stand-easy I realised just another run ashore and I was an OD.
 

Sumo

War Hero
The woke society are at it again

Black Bitch.jpg


Furore over pub chain’s move to axe ‘racist’ name of historic inn | HeraldScotland
STEEPED in history, the oldest pub in the Royal Burgh of Linlithgow has quenched the thirst of countless customers who have been regaled with the touching story of how a dog’s loyalty inspired its name.

While for those locals born within the sound of the bells ringing from St Michael’s Church, there is deep pride in being known as “Black Bitches”.

But now the pub chain that owns the historic town’s Black Bitch Tavern has revealed controversial plans to erase centuries of heritage, after deciding the traditional name has racist and offensive connotations.

 

taffscrivs

War Hero
The woke society are at it again

View attachment 60254


Furore over pub chain’s move to axe ‘racist’ name of historic inn | HeraldScotland
STEEPED in history, the oldest pub in the Royal Burgh of Linlithgow has quenched the thirst of countless customers who have been regaled with the touching story of how a dog’s loyalty inspired its name.

While for those locals born within the sound of the bells ringing from St Michael’s Church, there is deep pride in being known as “Black Bitches”.

But now the pub chain that owns the historic town’s Black Bitch Tavern has revealed controversial plans to erase centuries of heritage, after deciding the traditional name has racist and offensive connotations.

Well that just about says it all. Fecking anti racists can't even research the origins of the name before howling for it to be changed. One of our local watering holes is The Black Swan, I hope some jumped up tunnel visioned pillock doesn't call for that to be changed to The Coloured Swan. Mind you it's known locally as 'The Mucky Duck' anyway so feck 'em, politically and racially correct feckwits.
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
An old man was sitting in private box at Newcastle with an empty seat next to him!
A young fan saw the empty seat and said to him. "Who on earth has paid for this expensive seat but not turned up! they must be mad, do you mind if I sit here?"
The old man sadly looked up and said. "For 35yrs me and my darling wife have sat together and watched every game, but unfortunately she has passed away so was unable to come, so you can gladly take her place if you like."
The young man thanked him for his kind generosity and sat beside the old man.
The young man turned to him and said. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but as sad as your story is, I have to ask, have you not got any relatives, like a son or grandchild or nephew that you could if brought along with you?"
The old man said. "Yes I have, but they've all gone to her funeral."
 
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