The Pirate

shiner

Midshipman
A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" said the pirate. "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

"Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh well you see, one day while we were out at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shite."

"True, true", replied the Pirate, "But it was my first day with the hook."
 
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