The philosophy of ambiguity

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by janner, Nov 11, 2013.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English.


    1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
    2. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
    3. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
    4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self- help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
    5. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
    6. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    7. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
    8. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
    9. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
    10. Why do they lock service station toilets? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them?
    11. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
    12. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
    13. If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
    14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
    15. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
    16. How is it possible to have a civil war?
    17. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
    18. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
    19. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
    20. Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
    21. Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
    22. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
    23. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
    24. Can an atheist get insurance against Acts of God?
    25. Why do shops have signs, 'Guide Dogs Only', the dogs can't read and their owners are blind

     
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