The noble art of whoring

Discussion in 'RR Greatest Threads' started by 2_deck_dash, Nov 24, 2009.

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  1. We've all done them, some of us have fallen in love with them, some have simply abused them or degraded them. Personally I like to stretch their balloon knots into new and exciting shapes while humming the theme tune from the Magnificent Seven and spitting in their eyes.

    Spin your whoring dits here:
    • Excellent Topic Excellent Topic x 1
  2. Haggling for a ridiculously low price at the York International, getting said deal then having to actually go through with it. Felt like I'd been seen off good and proper. My idea of a "ridiculously low price" obviously wasn't as low as hers.
  3. In the Windies, a rather large killick stoker was digging out on a young lady in his hotel room when he passed out due to heatstroke and excessive alcohol abuse. the whore thought he'd snuffed it and ran through the hotel foyer bollocky buff and screaming her t1ts off....and he paid first :)
  4. My oppo thought the lady of the night had nicked his I.D card, so after big fisteecuffs, he got the parrot which was in the corner of the room out the cage and stamped on it. Got back onboard, I.D card was stuck to his arse.

    Have that Polly.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. And what exactly would you like to know?
  6. I fell in love with one in Moon River in Montevideo. To be honest, she was just the first blonde whore I'd found in South America who wasn't rats or had hairy legs so Ipaid over the odds for her 3 nights on the trot. I was fcuking popular in there, they cheered when me and the boys walked in and gave us free nibbles and one free drink.

    4th night, I was bored of her so ploughed some oriental pro instead. Blonde whore got wind of this and on night five they both had a massive punch up on the dancefloor, it was ******* ace, oriental bird got a severe pasting. I think she lost a couple of teeth and a lot of hair. She was motionless for about 40 minutes but the whole whore bar brilliantly just went about their business around her. One of the lads took a few phots of her sparko.

    Anyway, that show of commitment to me sent my heart all of a flutter, she had also bought me a cake so it was true love. I told her I'd take her away from all this and she could come home with me, resulting in a free fcuk that night.

    Then we sailed for the Falklands and I left the filthy slag to her life of misery. Ha ha.

    Good times.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Middle east and I trapped this Chinese bird with big tits, honest you cnuts. The lads decided to pay a surprise visit and roomraid me. The look on the poor girls face as she thought for 2 mins the lads were going to gang rape her.
  8. PMSL :D :D
  9. What does PMSL mean?? Sorry shippers, I'm a computer pigmy. I've just figured out Sky plus!
  10. It means Poke Me Spunk Lips.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Dubai:

    We had all rented appartments in this block which had a shared pool. On night we went to Cyclones (as one does) and we each bagged off with our chosen wench of the night. I had a particularly nice Eastern European/Russian one who looked a bit like that bird Ali Bastion off the telly.

    I took her back to the appartment and began to explore her insides with various household items etc. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and some of the other lads had returned each with a slut of different ethnicity in tow.

    A mass orgy ensued which reminded me of a cross between the days of Rome and the United Colours of Benetton advert. As I pumped away at the Russian Ali Bastion from behind, I felt a rather nice tickling sensation on my balls, assuming it was one of the other whores I carried on.

    Slowly I noticed all the others had stopped and were pointing and laughing at me, I turned around to see my sick and slightly twisted oppo, Buster, fondling my nuts. I couldn't carry on and am ashamed to say I flashed a little bit, even the whores found it funny.

    Anyway I sorted myself out and spent the next 3 days living in a Dubai appartment with 3 other lads, a pool, loads of booze and about 7 divs whores.

    Good times.

  12. That's what I was hoping.
  13. P1ssed MySelf Laughing
  14. Oh right, I prefer spunk lips one though.
  15. Whatever floats your boat sailor :wink:
  16. Incredibly similar to what happened to myself and the lads in Accra, Ghana. Except my whore looked like Gary Coleman.


    Whilst going twos up, my oppo's scrotum was brushing mine and he hadn't shaved it for a few days so I had a nice prickly sensation adding to the fun.

    We spent the evening by the pool and then decided to throw Gary and her mates in, cue screaming and abject panic (by them not by us) as they couldn't swim. One of them simply sank to the bottom of the pool the attention seeking cnut.

    We left her as a source of hilarity but one of the hotel staff nobly fished her out, she was even less attractive when coughing, crying and spluttering on all fours by the poolside. That was after she'd been resuscitated by the hotel wallah who just punched her in the chest fifteen times. African first aid rules!

    We were then briefed on the Hotels "New rule". No whores in the pool.
  17. I used that very same line in Bangkok which resulted in some psycho whore turning up at the dockyard with a card and presents for me. I had to get my oppo to go and tell her that I had been sent back to the UK on a 'special' mission.

    I watched from the bridge as she burst into tears, clutching the bag of cheap gifts that she had bought me from Patpong Market.

    Good times.
  18. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Gary Coleman,,,,,, :rofl:
  19. Antwerp '98 - nameless oppo' off "The Ballbag" - he gets a price from a nice lady who he wants to do whilst they are both draped in an Ensign. He has to go back onboard for said Ensign so she flashes at him for wasting time. Not wanting to see her off he agrees to pay first (with the last of his money) then go back onboard to get his Ensign and return to seal the deal. As he's leaving to hot-foot back onboard he realises what he's doing and asks her how he'll be able to prove he's paid. She draws large clown lips on his face with her lipstick and assures him she'll recognise him on his return.

    When I returned back onboard much later that night he was sat in the mess tabbing up, threaders, skint, and still wearing his Ensign and make up and drippin' about not trusting any fcuker ever again.
  20. in italy me and a pal got a recommendation from the chief of police for augusta bay on which was the skankiest whore house instead of sending us to a proper whore house we ended up in a bit of a smack den
    but happy at price and thinking we are here now why not we cracked on.
    seperating the rooms was a bit of plaster board and a door (unhinged you moved it to one side as you walked in and moved it back again to shut it) the room itself was basically a mattress and a bin(topperz with jonnies and tissue) anyway ive set the scene so i will crack on.
    im banging away and i can hear mate cracking on aswell but i decide i want to do it doggy style so i said to whore do you do doggy she said some italian shite i said ok thinking she was agreeing with me so i grabbed hold of her got her on her knees and started cracking on. just at that she started barking that wasnt the worst part my mate had heard the whole conversation and started laughing aswell i had a loss of hydraulics and couldn't carry on give her the money and silently fcuked off with a wierd feeling about the whole episode

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