The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met?

clanky

War Hero
Whilst most of the truly obnoxious or irrelevant MOD civvies disappeard under options for change/SDR, there are still plenty of brown coated jacks in office floating around in MOD establishments. Think of the officious storekeeper, or the jobsworth security guard we have all come to know and love.
One of my own personal favourites where the chaps employed to operate the open/close door buttons on the buses in Guzz Dockyard.
Come on guy, spin the dit, who is the mongiest MOD CS?
 

chieftiff

War Hero
Moderator
The worst one I met was also the biggest knob I knew in the mob! He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS.

Bumped into him (literally) and he proceeded to explain how he had been "head hunted" and now held the equivalent rank of a Commander (even though he was getting paid less than a LH.) utter tosh of course but his ego needed a boost so I just let him waffle on. Then he asked how things were at work now that he had left, Oh how I enjoyed telling him just how much more cheerful people were at work now that he had left and how good the new warrant was, we even had a leaving do for him, without him..........
 
chieftiff said:
The worst one I met was also the biggest knob I knew in the mob! He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS.

Bumped into him (literally) and he proceeded to explain how he had been "head hunted" and now held the equivalent rank of a Commander (even though he was getting paid less than a LH.) utter tosh of course but his ego needed a boost so I just let him waffle on. Then he asked how things were at work now that he had left, Oh how I enjoyed telling him just how much more cheerful people were at work now that he had left and how good the new warrant was, we even had a leaving do for him, without him..........
go on then give us aclue
 

copenhagencup

Lantern Swinger
A MOD civvy auditor used to visit us once a year, After the first visit, I never spoke to him again on 2 later visits for fear of dropping him, total wanker.

Also a LEAN consultant at Culdrose circa 2005 and his side kick Wing Commander, rubbed people up the wrong way so much, that although it was a week of hell you put as many obstacles in his way as possible. Walked away numerous times and would of been within my rights to smack the Wing Commander. But stood up for my beliefs and colleagues, shortly after they were both moved on.
 

copenhagencup

Lantern Swinger
chieftiff wrote:
The worst one I met was also the biggest knob I knew in the mob! He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS.

Bumped into him (literally) and he proceeded to explain how he had been "head hunted" and now held the equivalent rank of a Commander (even though he was getting paid less than a LH.) utter tosh of course but his ego needed a boost so I just let him waffle on. Then he asked how things were at work now that he had left, Oh how I enjoyed telling him just how much more cheerful people were at work now that he had left and how good the new warrant was, we even had a leaving do for him, without him..........

go on then give us aclue


I`ll take a guess was he a mess prez at Yeovs, a SMR of 810 early 90`s,
 
copenhagencup said:
chieftiff wrote:
The worst one I met was also the biggest knob I knew in the mob! He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS.

Bumped into him (literally) and he proceeded to explain how he had been "head hunted" and now held the equivalent rank of a Commander (even though he was getting paid less than a LH.) utter tosh of course but his ego needed a boost so I just let him waffle on. Then he asked how things were at work now that he had left, Oh how I enjoyed telling him just how much more cheerful people were at work now that he had left and how good the new warrant was, we even had a leaving do for him, without him..........

go on then give us aclue


I`ll take a guess was he a mess prez at Yeovs, a SMR of 810 early 90`s,
was he ginger
 

chieftiff

War Hero
Moderator
copenhagencup said:
I`ll take a guess was he a mess prez at Yeovs, a SMR of 810 early 90`s,
:rendeer:

No but I know who you mean, when I was on 810 c1991 One Monday morning I asked the SMR(who was a Guz rating) for a lift to Plymouth on the Friday lunchtime, he said yes. Come Friday I pop into his office in the morning for him to sign my M&M chit:

"Absolutely not" he says........ "but, but, but..... you said I could have a lift home" I reply laughing (this has to be his sick sense of humour I'm thinking, he'll wind me up then tell me to get in the car)

"Only if you can get the time off, you should have asked me earlier in the week" he says. He then walked past the Squadron MU office where I worked, got in his car and drove home to Plymouth. Utter knob, there wasn't an ounce of humour in it either just pure malice, the second biggest knob I met in the mob :dwarf:
 

pastrdp

Lantern Swinger
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Now you've got me started on snivelling servants again - Once sent an e-mail to PJHQ complaining that one of said brotherhood was an incompetent cnut, which in the way e-mails do landed in his and his bosses inbox. Subsequently ordered to apologise - sorry for calling you a cnut, but you called me an incompetent cnut, yeah sorry for calling you a cnut!
 

Karma

War Hero
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

chieftiff said:
The worst one I met was also the biggest knob I knew in the mob! He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS.
Strangely I was just thinking of a former passed-over two and a half who did much the same.
 

chieftiff

War Hero
Moderator
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Karma said:
chieftiff said:
The worst one I met was also the biggest knob I knew in the mob! He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS.
Strangely I was just thinking of a former passed-over two and a half who did much the same.
I think there is a secret underground CS head hunting team......... they never sought me out though......... thankfully!!
 

lsadirty

War Hero
Was having a few sherberts in the "Lord Moon on the Mall" in Whitehall, well known CS watering hole, when this DH was telling stories in a rather loud voice about a VICTOR III harassing one of our Black Messengers of Death somewhere "Up North". When I pointed out that this wasn't the place to advertise such details, he got quite offended, and asked who was I to question his judgement ? When I replied that I had done such trips, and not for his entertainment or to broadcast the fact so publicly, he calmed down somewhat. I still reported him to MoD(SY), which resulted in him being transferred to a finance branch - oblivion career wise, and never regretted doing it either. WANKER !!!!!!!!!
 

copenhagencup

Lantern Swinger
copenhagencup wrote:

I`ll take a guess was he a mess prez at Yeovs, a SMR of 810 early 90`s,

Cheiftiff wrote.

No but I know who you mean, when I was on 810 c1991 One Monday morning I asked the SMR(who was a Guz rating) for a lift to Plymouth on the Friday lunchtime, he said yes. Come Friday I pop into his office in the morning for him to sign my M&M chit:

"Absolutely not" he says........ "but, but, but..... you said I could have a lift home" I reply laughing (this has to be his sick sense of humour I'm thinking, he'll wind me up then tell me to get in the car)

"Only if you can get the time off, you should have asked me earlier in the week" he says. He then walked past the Squadron MU office where I worked, got in his car and drove home to Plymouth. Utter knob, there wasn't an ounce of humour in it either just pure malice, the second biggest knob I met in the mob


Chris,
I joined up with his son in 1986 needless to say it ran in the family.

I remember in 1992 after being told by the skipper of Culdrose " Congrats on your Selection for this years Crew" Said SMR lets call him Bob refused to sign my draft chit and leaving routine. Needles to say a bollocking later for him and I was off.
 

clanky

War Hero
Its interesting that mention of their previous rank/rate at every opportunity is always a good indicator that the CS is a nob.
 
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Seems like MoD CSs are still pains in the rear end.

Had one CS who worked with DGIA (as was) back when we were destoring the Maidstone.
Spent all his time chatting up the female CSs in tha yard - until the panic set in to restore the Maidstone as a barracks/prison ship for NI in the 70s.

I read him his 264s, but ended up with 7 days 9s because he was a 'senior' officer of the CS.
Didn't get any support from the SO of the Supply Group, but then he was a lowerdeck promotion, and a tosser of the 1st class too (could hear all the convo we had even through his closed door !! :shock: ).

I did find out much later that this CS was read the riot act by his Manager - didn't do me much good having to do pun at the time because of him though !
 

Gombear

War Hero
clanky said:
Whilst most of the truly obnoxious or irrelevant MOD civvies disappeard under options for change/SDR, there are still plenty of brown coated jacks in office floating around in MOD establishments. Think of the officious storekeeper, or the jobsworth security guard we have all come to know and love.
One of my own personal favourites where the chaps employed to operate the open/close door buttons on the buses in Guzz Dockyard.
Come on guy, spin the dit, who is the mongiest MOD CS?
Is there any other kind?
 

Gombear

War Hero
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Thinking about it, in my experience, it must be the canteen staff at Raleigh in the 70s.
(I have mentioned them in a couple of other threads here).

Those civvies used to dollop the food onto your plate with, at best, a morose grunt. Often snarling and snapping at any O/D or J/S with whom they thought they could get away with it. They spoke to the recruits as if they were dirt and they themselves held rank. Totally obnoxious bastards.

I suppose one shouldn’t be surprised. After all, when you get people whose jobs are the bottom of the bottom of the pile, they need to over compensate.

If they can assume some power or authority, they can try to use it to make other people feel bad. In that way they can feel better about themselves. Thus in denial of the fact that they really feel they are fcuk all, the bottom of the pile.
 
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Whilst I agree that I have come across quite a few Civil Serpants with knobs on their heads in my time I have found that they are now far outnumbered by the number of, lets call them 'Naval Sub Contractors' (there is a propensity for these people to work at training establishments!), that out do them in the CNUT stakes.

And before I get a barrage of abuse from Brigham600 :notworthy: et al - I am not saying they all are!!!
 
chieftiff said:
He left on a Friday after 37 years of achieving absolutely zero and somehow reaching WO1 only to reappear across the road on Monday as a CS. Bumped into him (literally) and he proceeded to explain how he had been "head hunted" and now held the equivalent rank of a Commander (even though he was getting paid less than a LH.)
Sure he didn't say Lt Cdr? Buggers up my close guess profile otherwise.
 

Bisley

War Hero
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Gonetothedarkside said:
Whilst I agree that I have come across quite a few Civil Serpants with knobs on their heads in my time I have found that they are now far outnumbered by the number of, lets call them 'Naval Sub Contractors' (there is a propensity for these people to work at training establishments!), that out do them in the CNUT stakes.

And before I get a barrage of abuse from Brigham600 :notworthy: et al - I am not saying they all are!!!

Dont be shy at Yeovilton the mighty SERCO have some the mightiest knobs ever created on gods earth. But with regards to CS i have met alot of jobs worth oxygen thiefs but in the same breath i have met just as many in the Navy. Always remember a PO Wren SA at Portland in 97/98 who worked in uniform clothing. What a pain in the arse she was. Had alot of old POMEM's from security going outside, She was asking for the sports kit they had at raleigh over 25 years ago. A few explained the errors of here ways with the famous saying of off and fcuck. :thumright:

Also the RPO at Yeovilton who stood in the guardroom ready to pounce on unsuspecting sailors mid 90's. Just to name a few. :dwarf:
 

clanky

War Hero
Re: The most pointless or obnoxious MOD CS you have ever met

Gonetothedarkside said:
Whilst I agree that I have come across quite a few Civil Serpants with knobs on their heads in my time I have found that they are now far outnumbered by the number of, lets call them 'Naval Sub Contractors' (there is a propensity for these people to work at training establishments!), that out do them in the CNUT stakes.

And before I get a barrage of abuse from Brigham600 :notworthy: et al - I am not saying they all are!!!
Whilst you do get the odd knobber working for flagshaft, they tend not to have the dyed in the wool twattishness of a true old school MOD(N) civil servant, who knew that whatever happened, his TU would ensure he kept his job. :afro:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
K Please Delete...Pointless Thread Now :) Joining the Royal Navy 31
Capn_Pugwash Pointless signs - meaningless, daft or just plain nonsense Diamond Lil's 1682
wave_dodger Navy's new "Pointless Frigates" Current Affairs 13
sgtpepperband Pointless news headline... The Quarterdeck 5
Ninja_Stoker Pointless Newbies threads that should be in the Gash Barge The Gash Barge 45
slim Pointless and Tatty television Programs. Diamond Lil's 11
sgtpepperband Pointless Websites The Gash Barge 4
MoD_RSS MOD delivers 10,000 items of critical medical equipment to NHS MoD News 0
D This up-to-date-MOD Modern and efficient., The Gash Barge 3
MoD_RSS MOD negotiates 10 billion PPE items MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD funds predictive sepsis test for coronavirus patients MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD awards places on specialist nuclear technical services framework MoD News 0
J Prnc Mod Caldonia 11th May Has been cancelled Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 4
Naval_Gazer Stopping MOD RSS feed saturating new posts page. Site Issues 5
H MOD Form 493 most recent amendment Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 4
J PRNC May 11th Mod Caladonia 2020 cancelled Joining the Royal Navy 3
MoD_RSS Lt Gen Richard Nugee to lead MOD's climate change policy MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD leads cross-Government review into the UK’s defence and security industrial strategy MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MoD lit in rainbow colours to celebrate LGB personnel MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD Education Support Fund results 2020 MoD News 0
vauxhall MOD guide for the Annual Allowance Notification Letter Finance & Pensions 0
MoD_RSS MOD unveils transformed approach to innovation MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD seeks innovative ideas to recycle military waste MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD announces new DE&S Chair MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD update on the UK military presence in the Gulf MoD News 0
MoD_RSS MOD to develop cutting-edge laser and radio frequency weapons MoD News 0
D British Nuclear Tests'MP's lied to by the MoD' A House of Commons library document which is used by MP's when discussing the Nuclear testing program Diamond Lil's 0
MoD_RSS Press release: MOD launches £2m fund to counter drones threat MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Billion-pound investment in vital MOD testing sites MoD News 0
LeedsBornLeedsBred MOD Caledonia - PRNC Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 19
MoD_RSS Press release: MOD Sealand to be innovation hotbed for Defence MoD News 0
B Mod Form 493 rehabilitation of offenders Act 1974. Joining the Royal Navy 0
vauxhall MOD Pension Forecast Service Finance & Pensions 0
MoD_RSS News story: Mastercard and MOD join forces to champion employment of ex service personnel MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: MOD awards £160m contract to prepare RAF Lakenheath for US F-35s MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: MOD sets out vision to diversify supply base MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Post Office and MOD agree new partnership on veterans employment MoD News 0
Dusty70 Overwhelmed by MoD releases Site Issues 14
MoD_RSS News story: MOD appeal for families of missing or killed soldiers from the Korean War MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: DASA funded innovation set to make MOD significant aircraft and fleet support savings MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: MOD contribution to international security highlighted in annual report MoD News 0
B PRNC 17/09/18(MOD CALEDONIA) Joining the Royal Navy 10
MoD_RSS News story: MOD launches first ever Defence Domestic Abuse Strategy MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: MOD launches biggest ever mental health awareness week with new confidential support for personnel on operations MoD News 0
L.L1878 PRNC MOD CALEDONIA May 2018. What to expect Joining the Royal Navy 18
soleil Guardian: " MoD Faces £21bn Budget Shortfall, Warns Spending Watchdog" Current Affairs 2
soleil Express: "Historic Flight Team Faces Chop Over MoD Funding" The Fleet Air Arm 3
MoD_RSS Fatality notice: MOD confirms the death of Corporal Steven Wainwright MoD News 0
R PRNC - MOD Caledonia Joining the Royal Navy 2
MoD_RSS Press release: New building performance standards to save MOD up to 20% MoD News 0
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

Top