The Matelots Guide to Trapping.... Kaitais

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by thingy, Oct 16, 2008.

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  1. Following a recent admission by a well respected and highly experienced Essence-Moderator, Pusser Publications proudly announce they are commissioning a new addition to the ever popular Matelots Guide to Trapping series. This new tome, to be compiled by the crew of Rum Ration and edited by Lamri, is intended to alert the inexperienced baby matelot to the hazards, pitfalls, tribulations and ecstacy (sometimes) of trapping abroad.

    Our Editor (Lamri) invites readers of this thread to contribute their advice, dits and educational images, to help our baby sailors avert disaster on their first date.
  2. Avoid Laydees with Adam's apples and big hands.
  3. Always remember the golden rule.

    "Tits first, she aint not Pompey slag"
  4. In addition, tread carefully and carry a wheel spanner.
  5. If they are better looking and better dressed than any other women around, then, trust me, they have bumps in the wrong place.
  6. 12(ish) of us sat on a beach in Fortaleza a few moons ago on the Happy H, drinking cuba libre like it was only costing 50p a go, we were all gawking this gorgeous bit of stuff, in a black cossie and wrap around thing.
    We were all getting neck strain looking when one of the lads say, nice and quiet like, "hang on a minute lads, she's got an adams apple".
    Cue the scene out of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, lots of talk about Rugby and macho puffing out of chests etc.

  7. Excuse me! My bumps are in the right places, and I don't go out looking like Vicky Pollard..... :threaten:
  8. I think that if you were to read between the lines, that i was talking bollocks. :w00t:
  9. Its so hard to tell the difference. :thanks:
  10. I have seen advertised that the Thia Ladyboys are performing in Leeds this weekend, after a successful time at the Edinburgh Fringe, whether the show was a success or trapping Scots men was the success it didn't say. Still worth a look to see how decieving they are.

    I came on this earth nothing, I'm doing well, I still have it.
  11. Casually slide your hand up the thigh, and at the top you may find she has MORE than you have
    Smack it's arse and turn it over

    Jack McH
  12. [​IMG]

  13. Additionally, watch for high/roll neck clothing and scarves. Foot size is also a useful clue.

    Seven years ago, I stayed in a Hotel in Hat Yai. When we booked in, the receptionist was a young, well spoken and polite Thai lad dressed in Western style blazer and slacks. Later on, we saw him off out with his friends; barely recognisable in slinky dress, make-up and a rather smart silk choker. The, then, girlfriend was both shocked and fascinated.

    I told her about Bugis Street. We were staying in Singers on the way home, so I took her across on the first night there. She was most disappointed to find it was just a rather crappy shopping arcade with no kaitais for miles.
  15. Bugis was cleaned up long ago. Receptionist at the lodge house in the Indian quarter informed us that the girls are still out and about in the early hours. I think it was a novelty thing and a piss up like Amsterdam. You can see Bugis street types in Asda and B&Q these days the ever changing world.
  16. If far eastern birds have massive tits they tend to be fake and good chance they're fake for a reason lol
  17. I wonder where I went wrong.....???

  18. Steve

    You don't need to ask us.
  19. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    As a young thruster in the corps I saddly (?) only had three ladyboy experiances, my c0ck doesn't feature in any of them though, but there are some stunners out there, you only have to go as far as italy to get some real good looking ones, always wondered what a chew would be like from one but was always to p1ssed to try.
  20. I'd forgotten about the Italian trannies. I was working in Italy and living in Falcanara a few years ago_On the way back from the factory we used to pass a nice looking slapper plying her trade from one of the lay bys. It hap penned that the RAF had a large contingent operating tankers from Ancona airport, they were accommodated in hotels in Falcanara and used to drinking in the Guinness pub. Mentioning this slapper brought hoots of laughter and the comment "Oh the chic with the dick". Seems one of their number had picked it up one day and never lived it down :w00t:

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